45+ Toe Jokes & Puns That Are Actually Worth Your Time

Funny toe drawing that makes you think of toe jokes and puns

There are a ton of funny toe jokes and toe puns out there, which surprised us. Putting together this list took way longer than we thought it would!

Lucky for you, that means there’s plenty of good stuff below. You’ll soon be addicted to sharing these toe jokes and puns just like we are!

  • Friend: I’ve been trying to find a way to keep myself alert at all times.
    Me: How about joining a ballet.
    Friend: Why a ballet?
    Me: It’s the only sport that will keep you on your toes throughout.
  • What did the toe say to the other toe after they parted ways?
    See you toe-morrow.
  • What’s the difference between a camera and a sock?
    A sock takes five toes.
  • What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
    Open toad sandals.
  • Cows have hooves instead of feet since they lactose.
  • My friend got tattoos on all his toes.
    He said they were his new tat-toes.
  • What was the toe’s favorite Pokemon?
  • What do you call a documentary on weird toes in the world?
    The Toe-Files.
  • The crazy lady was tip-toeing around the mental asylum.
    She was afraid of waking up the sleeping pills.
  • What did the toes say after they fell out of love?
    We should cherish the fun-gus we had.
  • The waitress dropped his food and stamped on it due to frustration.
    Even though the food wasn’t great, he still considered it as a toe-riffic meal experience.
  • My mother has a colleague from Spain with a rubber toe. Everytime he comes home, my father says, “Your friend Roberto is here to see you.”
  • The little toe never talked to the other toes and always did things on his own.
    He was in-toe-verted.
  • Which city do toes like to visit when they go to Japan?
  • What did the foot do after his car had broken down?
    He called a toe-truck.
  • Why do toes go to the doctor?
    To be heeled.
  • My vegetarian girlfriend hurt her foot while playing soccer.
    To cheer her up, I took her out for some toe-fu.
  • What type of chocolate do feet like?
  • What are toes’ favorite snacks?
  • The city’s best poet had some really long toes and feet.
    He was such a Longfellow.
  • What do you call a one-legged friend with no toes?
  • Professor Frequency usually stubs his toe on the furniture in class.
    Whenever he does it, he reacts by yelling, “Ouch, that Hertz.”
  • One of my friends broke her toe.
    I sent her my dearest con-toe-lenses.
  • Why wasn’t the cat drinking milk?
    She was lack-toes intolerant.
  • He gave us a long list of his best toe jokes.
    Most of them turned out to be toe-tally awful.
  • Why did the mother lock the refrigerator and hook the key on her toe?
    She wanted to try a key-toe diet.
  • Which is the easiest way to look at your toe?
    Through a photoe.
  • What’s the source of pain when you kick a rocket?
    Missile Toe.
  • What kind of spread do feet use for their toast?
    Toe jam.
  • Whenever someone begins to talk about their toenails, I humbly request them to change the toe-pic.
  • My friend is trying to develop a foot-controlled keyboard.
    Today he launched his first pro-toe-type.
  • I went to the doctor to have my bad toenail checked.
    She prescribed me huge amounts of toe-ma-toe ketchup.
  • What kind of bird of prey was the villainous toe using as a weapon against other toes?
    A Toe-ma-hawk.
  • What do you call a dinosaur with a sore foot and toe?
    An Ankylo-sore-us.
  • What type of vegetable do feet love?
  • Where do feet kiss during Christmas?
    Under the mistle-toe.
  • My younger brother thought his TGIF shoes were an instruction manual that meant Toes Get In First.
  • What is so fascinating about a breakfast table with a jug of milk on it?
    It has four legs and lacks toes.
  • What did the boy say after stubbing his toe on solid gold?
    “Au, Au, Au, it hurts”
  • What did the amateur say to the professional footballer after playing against each other?
    You have to help me. I toe-tally need the experience.
  • Someone was trying to pick up the popcorn she had dropped in the movie theater.
    I told her, “You have stretched your leg a little toe much in my way”
  • What’s a toe’s most disliked vegetable?
  • Why did the baby lose the toe-sucking competition?
    He only tasted defeat and nothing else.
  • Why did the elephants paint their toenails pink?
    To be able to hide in raspberry bushes.
  • What did the foot do after it started snowing?
    It went toe-bogganing.

Share These Toe-Morrow!

If any of these funny toe jokes and toe puns made you laugh, share them with your friends! Some are pretty smart and others are goofy, but they’re all hilarious.

If you’re privy to some good toe jokes and puns that we didn’t include on the list, please send them our way! We’re always looking for more to add.