29 Ketchup Puns & Jokes That Are Actually Funny

Ketchup being poured while people tell puns and jokes about it

Knowing some funny ketchup puns and ketchup jokes will always come in handy. It doesn’t matter where you eat, ketchup is always around!

Give this list a read and see if you find any that you like!

  • I had a hotdog with no mustard or ketchup on it at the work barbeque the other day and my co-workers asked me why. I told them I just wanted to relish it.
  • My girlfriend asked me why I was hitting the bottle so much lately. I told her that the ketchup just refused to come out of that glass bottle any other way.
  • What do you get if you pre-mix ketchup and mustard in the same bottle? A MustUp sauce.
  • How was the tomato able to outrun all the other vegetables so easily? Because he wasn’t a vegetable after all.
  • What is the only thing that looks similar to half of a tomato on a plate? The other half of the tomato.
  • What is the one trait that potatoes and tomatoes share? They both have toes!
  • When the inventor of ketchup was making his first attempt at the now world famous condiment, what was going through his mind? To-mato, or not to-mato!
  • What did the meatloaf say to the ketchup bottle? Don’t be getting saucy with me now!
  • What made the tomato decide to cross to the other side of the road? He wanted to ketchup with his to-mate-os.
  • What tomato is not good for use in making ketchup? A-roma tomatoes, because they are too smelly.
  • What caused the ketchup to hide its face from the other condiments? It saw the salad dressing.
  • If Walter White was a ketchup maker instead of an infamous drug maker, what would he be called? Heinzenburg!
  • What do you call a storm that drops ketchup everywhere instead of rain? A tormato!
  • I got a bunch of ketchup in my eye at the family barbeque the other day and now I have perfect Heinz-sight!
  • What can you use to repair a split tomato? Ketchup!
  • I ordered fries at the cafe during my lunch break today and my friend spilled ketchup on them. Instead of saying he was sorry, he said “You complete me” and proceeded to dig into the fries.
  • What is red, tastes amazing and always goes up and down? Ketchup in a bottle!
  • How can you tell when a ketchup bottle isn’t feeling good? It has the squirts!
  • If a chronic procrastinator had a favorite condiment, what would it be? Ketchup!
  • Where do ketchup bottles like to live? In the fancy condiment-iums.
  • If society used condiments as currency, what would bank vaults be full of? Cash-chup!
  • What made it possible for the hamburger to finally ask out the ketchup bottle? He mustard his courage and relished the result.
  • What is the first thing that tomatoes do when they are all picked from the vine and stored in a bin at the end of the gardening season? They ketchup on current events!
  • My wife told me that tomatoes are actually a fruit, to which I responded “Does that mean that ketchup is actually a smoothie?”
  • I was reminiscing with my dad during the holidays and he asked if I remembered the time I had dropped a glass ketchup bottle on his foot. I said I didn’t. He said “I remember because it caused massive pain to-ma-toes!”
  • Knowing that a tomato is a fruit and not a vegetable is knowledge, sure, but making ketchup with it instead of jam anyway is wisdom!
  • I heard a knock at the door today and when I went to answer it, I asked who was there before opening the door. The person on the other side said “Ketchup.”
    I wasn’t sure I had heard them correctly, so I asked “Ketchup who?”
    “Ketchup and I’ll show you,” they replied, and then I heard them running down the hallway.
  • A was getting groceries at the store today and I saw a man squinting at his shopping list, clearly displeased. Thinking I may be able to help him out with what he was looking for, I asked him if everything was alright. He said “Oh yeah, all good. My wife told me to add ketchup to the shopping list, but I don’t know how she reads the dang thing with this stuff all over it.”

Put These On Everything!

Now that you know some funny ketchup puns and ketchup jokes, you’ll be able to drop a funny line during meals whenever you want! You basically have a newfound superpower.

If you know any other good ones that we should include in the list, you’re welcome to submit them. We look for new puns to add all the time!