31 Leg Puns & Jokes That You Can Actually Stand
There are so many amazing leg puns and jokes out there that it’s hard to believe we hadn’t heard any of them until now!
I guess we should get some new friends or something.
Some of them are quite clever, and they’re also very versatile. You can use them when traveling, if you get hurt, or simply when you’re walking around.
And as you know, the ability to bring up puns out of nowhere (and for no apparent reason) is the path to lasting relationships.
We hope you enjoy these puns and jokes about legs. We’ve been using them nonstop for the last few days, and we don’t see that changing anytime soon.
- The other night I tripped over a package of Kleenex and hurt my leg. Fortunately it’s just minor tissue damage.
- Why should we appreciate our legs? They always stand up for us.
- I jumped off the top of my car and landed too hard, hurting my foot. Thankfully it’s heeling well.
- I’m so sick of leg puns. I really stand them anymore!
- My aunt was dancing when she heard a crunch in her knee, causing her to fall over. Then she got mad when my uncle told her not to be so broken up over it.
- My refrigerator must have broken its leg. It hasn’t ran in weeks.
- There are many people who don’t like leg puns. They simply can’t stand them.
- I once met a man with no arms or legs who lived in a swimming pool. His name was Bob.
- Training my legs at the gym isn’t a problem in the moment, but I can’t stand the recovery period.
- What do you call a vicious dog with no legs? Anything you want. It’s not like he can chase you.
- Why does everyone tell theatre actors to break a leg before each show? Because each performance has a cast.
- I’m annoyed that I had to take a long flight on a cramped plane. Now I have really bad jet leg.
- I had trouble finishing the movie about the man with the two broken legs. The cast was not good at all.
- I was a little concerned that my leg was broken at first, but now I think it’s going tibia ok.
- My wife and I hurt our legs doing the same workout the other day. We think it’s a joint issue.
- What stands on four legs and is man’s best friend? A couch.
- What has two legs but can’t walk around? A pair of pants.
- Why did the amputated man refuse to buy a new wheelchair when his old one broke? It would have cost him an arm and a leg.
- I got frustrated one day while I was trying to prop open my window. No matter what I tried, the window just would not stay open. Everything I placed there just fell off and the window would slam again. After trying one too many times, I fell and hurt myself. Thankfully I was only bruised and I could go about most of my everyday routines. I would just have to stop trying to prop the window until I figured this out. Finally I had an idea. I went up to my attic and retrieved a gigantic pair of ceramic legs to place underneath the windowsill. It worked. The ceramic legs were tall enough to be placed on the ground and prop the window from where they stood. I decided this would be my permanent solution for propping this window in future, so I stored the ceramic legs under the window sill. I didn’t feel like putting them back in the attic, because otherwise, I just couldn’t stand the pane.
- What do you call the gathering of archeologists on the search for a leg bone? Shindig.
- Why did the tabletop get arrested? It didn’t have a leg to stand on.
- On their first day back at school, you should encourage your child to enter their classroom and lift their left leg for at least five seconds, thaw way they can say that the school year started off on the right foot.
- I’m a genius and have fourteen legs. What am I? Delusional
- How would you describe somebody who likes to go to the grocery store just to buy out their entire stock of crab and lobster legs? A shellfish individual.
- My aunt had a hard time looking for a job, because she couldn’t find anyone who would hire her while she had only one leg. Sometimes they would even make fun of her before rejection. Finally, she was called by the owner of a bar, who asked what position she wished to fill. “I didn’t think I’d get this far,” she replied, “So I guess any position will do.” The bar owner thought for a few seconds. Then she said, “Madam, do you get around in a wheelchair?” A little taken aback, my aunt replied, “No. I hop around on crutches most of the time.” Again, the bartender paused, thinking. My aunt began to look a little concerned. Finally, the bar owner spoke. “Congratulations, you can come in for orientation next week.” Ecstatic, my aunt asked the bar owner what position she was being considered for. “Oh that became an easy answer once you told me you get around on crutches. We’re putting you in charge of the hops.”
- I flew on a jet plane once. It was a terrible experience. Everything was cramped the whole time, especially my legs. I was so glad when my stop came. I had a hard time walking for a few days after that. I had a terrible case of jet leg.
- The other morning at 3 a.m., I stumbled out of bed to go to the bathroom. I could hardly get my legs to work properly. I just wanted to finish up so I could go back to bed. After using the bathroom, I tried to make it back to my bed. My legs were still very wobbly. I stumbled too hard and tried to grab the bathroom cabinet for support. I accidentally pulled it open and fell to the ground. Our entire stock to toilet paper fell out of the cabinet on top of me. Later I told my girlfriend about it. I let her know my legs were bruised and she thought I was telling her the toilet paper bruised my legs. ‘It’s probably nothing to worry about,” she said. “Just a bit of tissue damage.”
- What is a quadriplegic person’s least favorite clothing item? Leggings
- A man snuck into a graveyard to dig up his dead relative. He was in the process of trying to lift the body out of the grave when he heard sirens and saw blue flashing lights. The police were too close! The man panicked and decided to get away with whatever he could manage. As he was clambering out of the grave, the leg of his dead relative detached from the body. With no time to put it back, the man ran as fast as he could in the opposite direction of the cops. He was nearly out of the graveyard when he was caught. There had apparently been cops waiting to surround him. Defeated, the man let the cops cuff him. They didn’t leave the graveyard immediately. The cops asked him questions for what seemed like hours. Finally one cop stopped him mid sentence. “Look pal. I don’t know why you feel like you have to lie about this entire thing.” Confused, the man fell silent. He’d been truthful the entire time. This cop was crazy! “Tell me,” the cop said in response to the man’s silence, “Whose leg do you think you’re pulling?”
Could You Stand These?
We had a few good laughs when putting together this list of leg puns and leg jokes. Hopefully you enjoyed it as much as we did!
If you have any of your own and think they deserve to be included, send them over! If they’re funny we’ll find room to add them.