The Ultimate List Of Clever & Funny Baseball Puns

There’s something about a clever and funny baseball pun that people just love. Poking fun at America’s pastime doesn’t get old!

It’s so unique and full of tradition (and really slow). How could you not?

We hope this list of baseball puns will give you some funny one-liners to use the next time the topic comes up. Or a way to be a nuisance if you’re stuck watching a game you don’t care about.

Common Baseball Pun Words To Use

With words like pinch, bat, hit, and base it’s easy to come up with a wide variety of baseball puns to play with. “Strike” is also another versatile word that can be weaved into just about any sentence if you try hard enough.

Take a look at the list below to get inspiration for some of your own!

“Why do we sing ‘Take Me Out to the Ballgame’ when we’re already there?”

A book never written: “The Quickest Baseball Game” by Earl E. Wynn.
If you were a baseball and I was a bat would you let me hit that?
Baseball players have to stay in line or they will be afoul of the rules.

Can I pinch hit on you?
He could play baseball, football, basketball, soccer and tennis. He was a jock of all trades.
Which baseball player holds water? The pitcher!

Plus, his speeches haven’t changed. He’s on the campaign trail today, and made a short stop to deliver a speech. Same pitch as usual.
Which takes longer to run: from first to second base or from second to third base?… From second to third base, because there is a shortstop in the middle
Were you eating dinner at Arby? I like that place.

Our high school math teacher moonlights by selling concessions at local baseball games. He is a true ballpark figure.
A baseball pitcher asked if he had a good curveball, but wanted a straight answer.
If you were a reliever, I’d sign you up to a three-year contract with a vesting option

Why was Cinderella so bad at baseball? She had a pumpkin for a coach!
You’re like baseball: You make me all nervous and then nothing happens.
You know, I’ve never needed a third base coach to wave me home.

Have you ever wondered why baseball players get girlfriends? They’re great at hitting it off.
Wanna hear a joke? The Blue Jays. Wanna hear something serious? My love for you.
Can you tame my diamondback? Everybody else has

Hello, I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart. Just like Dee Gordon when he steals bases!”
How do baseball players keep in touch? They touch base every once in a while.
Roz also said she’d contribute. Is Roz in?

Us baseball players know our way around the bases.
Ok, Pop. Fly me out of here.
The only thing tender today is my heart for you

Ok, strike that.
Baseball players only wear one glove so they can leave the other hand free to hold girls like you.
Why don’t baseball players join unions?… Because they don’t like to be called out on strikes.

What a screwball…
If you date me, you’ll eventually see a diamond.
Which animal is best at baseball? The bat!

She played baseball and so did he. They hit it off.

What do you get when you cross a baseball player with a monster?… a doubleheader!
What’s the difference between a Yankee Stadium hotdog, and a Fenway Park hotdog?… You can buy a Fenway Frank hotdog in October!

Why was Cinderella so bad at baseball?…She had a pumpkin for a coach.
You can call me the A’s because I’m destroying that Kitty right now
Obviously, Paul is away — not home. He’s a busy guy, with a lot on his plate.

You’re like baseball: I’d love to play you in front of a crowd.
Why are some umpires fat?…They always clean their plate!
You don’t get it? Or are you just Yankee my chain, you knuckle head? In any case, it’s been a ball and it kept me in stitches — even if you didn’t contribute your usual a mound. Maybe I’ll catch a single episode of The Simpsons before I go to sleep. I really like Homer.

That one has been used already. You need to find a substitute.
I’m an umpire. Now, give me your number so I can make the call.
The best way to make a baseball bat is to carve it by hand. Using a machine is just lathe-y.

What would you get if you crossed a pitcher and the Invisible Man?… Pitching like no one has ever seen.
How is a baseball like a pancake?… They both need a good batter.
Baseball players who get three strikes

You’re like baseball: I’d love to play you in front of a crowd.
What’s long and hard and intimidates everyone? My BAT. Isn’t it adorable?
Damn G+. I got another pop-up ad.

Why are singers good at baseball?… Because they have perfect pitch!
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Forget it, it’s way over your head
Doug was going to contribute, but he couldn’t think of anything. Maybe you should help Doug out.

Are you in the on-deck circle, or is that halo?
You still did OK. Overall, I think it’s a toss-up.
Do you know what cupcakes & a baseball team have in common?… They both count on the batter!

Are you accepting applications for your fan club? I’d love to join since I’m already a member of the Mr. Met fan club!
Are you Eric Sogard because there’s no way I’d ever forget your
A book never written: “How to Be a Better Baseball Player” by Ben Schwarmer.

A baseball player was a thief. He was always trying to steal.
We must be in the bullpen because you’re warming me up.
Are you Anthony Recker because I just wanna let you pull my dinger

Uhhhh, my lead off’s not great, and though I may be off base, I’d like to take you on a date.
The reason baseball games are at night is that bats sleep during the day!
Paul is very unresponsive, but I’ll let it slide. Maybe he’s having car trouble. I told him to check his clutch. He’s not single, so maybe he can put the squeeze on his wife, so she can help him out of this jam.

A dog who played baseball always got walked.
I had a good streak going there.
Of all the butts in all the locker rooms, well, yours is way better.

It’s no wonder that some baseball players have lots of money – often even many of the bases are loaded.
Ok, strike that
Sorry, J-Walk. I guess I dropped the ball.

What are the rules in zebra baseball?… Three stripes and you’re out.
You’re like baseball: You make me all nervous and then nothing happens.
Two more follows and we can start the giveaway! Come on people, I draw pretty okay too

I hope you’re good at catching cause I’m starting to fall for you.
Like a platoon player, I’m dying to get some action
A baseball player swallowed his gum because he choked up.

Why are baseball games at night?… Because bats sleep during the day!
She was a baseball player’s wife and had a ballpark figure.
Hello. I am a professional baseball player.

I don’t field like football today, and besides, baseball is a batter game!
They say to bat me 2nd because I’m a good 2-hole hitter
I feel like I’m talking to myself. I guess you’re busy. I’ll take a walk and come back later.

Ha! No reply. You were caught looking at that comment.
You make my heart as spongey as the A’s infield
When all my electrical engineering friends at the baseball game did the wave, it was almost like having a phased-hooray.

I’m not at the top of my game tonight. Too distracted watching Mitt.
They replaced the baseball with an orange to add zest to the game.
Glad to see you’re finally running short. STOP!

They call me the Arizona D’Backs because I always play ball games late into the night
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?…”Catch ya later!”
Are we in the bullpen? Cuz you’re warming me up.

“Did you hear the joke about the fast pitch?”… ”Forget it. You just missed it.”
Unlike Dee Gordon, I give you full permission to tag my butt
What do you get when you cross a tree with a baseball player?… Babe Root.

Baseball is known for its pitched battles.
If this were an actual contest, I could really clean up.
Or maybe his union went on strike and he’s on the picket line. Drive home, if you can before I make another blooper.

I’d lay down a sacrifice for you.

More Funny Baseball Puns

The rest of the baseball puns on our list are a bit different, but still pretty darn funny. Check them out!

Your pitch must have hit me because I’m feeling a little faint.

Is that a batting glove in your pocket, or do you have kind of a lumpy butt? Cuz if you do, that’s cool. I’m not picky.
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
They call me “The Lead” because the A’s bullpen wants to blow me

When a baseball fell in the sewer it was called a foul ball.
There are so many statistics in baseball that the players are now running around data bases.
That’s also been used. One more, and you’re out.

A new batter joined the baseball team, and he was a real hit.
You’re like a student and I am like a math book, you solve all my problems! Just like Billy Beane when it comes to acquiring key baseball players who always get on base.
If you sing while playing baseball, you won’t get a good pitch.

Did you hear the joke about the baseball?… It will leave you in stitches!
Baseball on a foggy day is all about hit and mist.
The baseball pitcher’s retirement was at the end of a wonderful ERA.

The best way to make a baseball bat is to carve it by hand. Using a machine is just lathe-y.
Have you ever seen a line drive?… No, but I have seen a baseball park!
In each town on his trip, the baseball player made a short stop.

What happens to a baseball pitcher when he loses a big game? He goes into the throes of depression.
The baseball player made a clean move with the girl but then he struck out.
Why is it so windy at Candlestick Park?… Because of all the Giant Fans!

I think there are about 1-2 million baseball fields in the world, but that’s just a ballpark number.
When all my electrical engineering friends at the baseball game did the wave, it was almost like having a phased-hooray.
I think this thread represents the big inning of a new ERA in punnery.

They replaced the baseball with an orange to add zest to the game.
They say I’m like John Jaso because I’m all clear to be behind your plate all summer long
Why did the police officer go to the baseball game? Someone stole second base!

BTW, if you put the squeeze on her, don’t pinch her. And definitely don’t hitter! And for god’s sake, don’t batter her around!
The baseball pitcher’s personality needed some polish. He was a diamond in the rough.
You’re quite the catch, baby.

What has 18 legs and catches flies? A baseball team!
How is a baseball team similar to a pancake? They both need a good batter.
That’s all for me. I need some relief if this thread is to be saved.

Play in my extra innings, I guarantee I’m a long reliever
Are you in the outfield? Because you’re an angel.
Where does a baseball player go when he needs a new uniform? New Jersey.

A baseball player can sell himself to a new team if he has a good pitch.
What did the baseball glove say to the ball? “Catch ya later!”
You’re like baseball: A thinkin’ man’s game.

Which baseball player holds water?…The pitcher.
He could play baseball, football, basketball, soccer and tennis. He was a jock of all trades.
I like baseball so much more than football. It’s just a batter game!

I’d lay down a sacrifice for you.
Baseball on a foggy day is all about hit and mist.
They call me Derek Jeter because I got loose hips and I’m good at stroking balls away

Still no response from Paul. I guess this is my own little pun umpire, and I’m the king.
Why is it always so windy at Candlestick Park? Because of all the Giant Fans!
Have you ever wondered why baseball players get girlfriends? They’re great at hitting it off.

Whatcha got?
What cartoon character is the best at baseball?… Homer Simpson.
A baseball player joined the army and did the round of military bases.

I know I’m out of options, but I’ll fight my way in and prove to you that I can make your team into a contender
My dugout, or yours?

I don’t get that pun no matter how hard I twi. ‘Night.

I don’t field like football today, and besides, baseball is a batter game!
When asked how the season was going, the baseball coach replied saying that it was in full swing.
My love for you is like the A’s and Daric Barton: it never dies.
Which animal is best at hitting a baseball? The bat.
Your pitch must have hit me because I’m feeling a little faint!
Why is a baseball umpire like an angry chicken? : They both have fowl mouths.
Where shouldn’t a baseball player ever wear red? In the bull pen.
If you sing while playing baseball you may not get a good pitch
What is a baseball player’s favorite thing about going to the park?… The swings!
As a baseball player, I know my way around the bases.
What do baseball players use to bake a cake?… Oven MITTS, BUNT pans and BATTER.
I’m falling in glove with you!
Why is Fenway Park the coolest place to be?… Because it’s full of fans.
Why did the police officer go to the baseball game?… Someone stole second base!
On second thought, I canceled the walk. The weather’s too foul.
In baseball, if you can’t steal a base, then you won’t make degrade.
Is that a batting glove in your pocket, or do you have kind of a lumpy butt? Cuz if you do, that’s cool. I’m not picky.
At least it wasn’t a costly error. He still has his base, and he’s still running. In other words, he’s safe.
The baseball player made a clean move with the girl but then he struck out.
I hope you’re a good catcher because I’m starting to fall for you.
It’s no wonder that some baseball players have lots of money – often even many of the bases are loaded.
A baseball player’s mother knows what he likes to eat on the home plate.
In baseball, if you can’t steal a base, then you won’t make degrade.
Would you just take one for the team, and go out with me?
Which superhero is the best at baseball?… Batman.
If your daughter is tying up the computer, you should ground ‘er.
The baseball pitcher’s personality needed some polish. He was a diamond in the rough.
Why are spiders good baseball players?… Because they know how to catch flies!
When a baseball player isn’t going steady he’s playing the field.
Did you just hit me with a pitch? Cuz I’m feeling faint.
Can I show you my spitball?
I’m an umpire. Now, give me your number so I can make the call.
“Did you hear the joke about the pop fly?”… “Forget it. It’s way over your head.”
Why do girls like baseball?… It’s the only sport played on a diamond!
Did you see what I wrote at the bottom of the 9th comment?
Even though there’s no ball game on tonight, ill still be slamming something out of the park
Baseball players are expected to perform well right off the bat.
I got a private conference in my hotel room at the winter meetings, come on up if you wanna look at my trade package
What’s long and hard and intimidates everyone? My BAT. Isn’t it adorable?
Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes? Sorry, but you can’t use one on the Seattle Mariners winning a World Series championship just because they signed Robinson Cano for a decade-long contract.
The game’s getting boring, wanna go back to my place and make it a blowout?
Why did the baseball player go to the car dealer? He wanted a sales pitch.
That’s a bit of a stretch.
What’s the “win probability” of me taking you home tonight, baby?
I just want something quick to fill a gap, let’s hook up on a one-year deal and then look at our option years later
I’m just trying to advance the art, using two methods: Walk ‘n’ Balk.
How do baseball players stay cool? By sitting next to the fans.
In each town on his trip, the baseball player made a short stop.
After this early morning spring training workout, you wanna come be my afternoon delight?
A baseball pitcher asked if he had a good curve
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
What’s the difference between a rain barrel and a bad fielder? One catches drops and the other drops catches.
A baseball player can sell himself to a new team if he has a good pitch.
Why don’t baseball players join unions? Because they don’t like to be called out on strikes!
I think I glove you!
So am I gonna be your closer tonight, or are you putting me in middle relief?
Where did the baseball player wash his socks?… In the bleachers.
Why are frogs good outfielders?… They never miss a fly.
When baseball umpires aren’t happy with their pay they call more strikes.
Never hit the ump… The Umpire Strikes Back
Baseball players sometimes have sign-us trouble.
In a baseball season, a pitcher is worth a thousand blurs.
You’re like baseball: A thinkin’ man’s game.
When asked how the season was going, the baseball coach replied saying that it was in full swing.
If you sing while playing baseball, you won’t get a good pitch.

Batter Up!

Now that you’ve seen our full list of baseball puns, it’s time for you to unleash them on your friends and family. Show no mercy and never stop trying!

It’s not going to be a home run every time.