47 River Puns & Jokes That Will Actually Make You Laugh

A funny looking river that inspires many puns and jokes

River puns and river jokes don’t normally come to mind when you think of topics to chuckle at, but they’re surprisingly funny! The nature of a river makes it easy to find humor when talking about them.

This list of puns and jokes about rivers will give you plenty of great ones to bring up the next time you hit the great outdoors with some friends. Memorize your favorites and make everyone laugh!

  • Why did the fish go to the river bank? Because it wanted to withdraw its fins.
  • One time a pirate flooded a tavern. Let that sink inn.
  • A banker recently drowned in a river. It was a river of cash.
  • Where do fish go to take a nap? The river bed.
  • The scenery near the river valley is so beautiful. It’s practically gorges.
  • When fish really need money, they always swim to the closest bank.
  • The stream was so shallow that the lake had to cut it off.
  • I love rivers so much. I started watching a livestream earlier today.
  • The major difference between Amazon Prime and the Amazon River is that the Amazon River has tons of sails.
  • Why wouldn’t the hipster jump in the river? The river was too mainstream for his taste.
  • I love tossing pennies in the river and observing them. It’s a good way to study my cash flow.
  • I just saw a cartoon about beavers. It was the best dam cartoon I’ve ever seen.
  • What did the ocean say to the stream? You can run but you can’t hide.
  • Rivers love streaming so much that they subscribe to Netflix.
  • The ocean can’t remember anything. It’s going sea-nile.
  • The fisherman refused to accept that he lost his new fishing hook in the river. He was starting to be in the Nile.
  • Last night, the river was arrested due to illegal streaming.
  • The lake held a grudge against the river because it was not lake-able.
  • If you get tide up in your sorrows, you’ll only end up crying a river.
  • What do they call a squeaky river? A creek.
  • What did the doctor say to the river? Her flow wouldn’t stop.
  • What do you call the country with the most dams? An Eternal Dam Nation.
  • What is the saddest river in Southern Europe? The Crimea River.
  • When my brother got hungry on the river, we stopped and got freshly made stream buns.
  • A lot of my river jokes just aren’t current anymore.
  • What did the dam say when the fish swam into it? Dumb bass.
  • First there’s the Amazon River. Soon there’s gonna be the Twitter Canal or Instagram Valley.
  • How did the great flood happen? God didn’t build a dam.
  • A rose is a lot like a river. They’re both flowers.
  • One river asked the other river, “Wat-er you doing today?”
  • The water was streaming down the river cheerfully when it hit a wall. It screamed, “Dam it!”
  • The dock floats above the lake due to peer pressure.
  • If you dive into shallow waters, you may jump to conclusions.
  • I try to learn how to swim every time we go to the lake. I can never get a hang of it, but my brother says it’s very swim-ple.
  • What did Jesus say to the river? You are dammed.
  • Dried up rivers are so cool! They’re very ex-stream.
  • A flood can be a very scary emergenc-sea.
  • When going on a boat trip to Greendale, we noticed that the channel didn’t look safe, so we went back to Riverdale.
  • What do you call the small rivers that stream into the Nile? Juveniles.
  • What did Sherlock say when he saw the sandstone in the river? “It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.”
  • Why doesn’t the river like the sea? Because the sea is too salty.
  • Why didn’t the beavers collect any wood for the river? Cause they didn’t give a dam.
  • What state is the Amazon River located in? The liquid state.
  • My friend recently dived into a river in Paris. The verdict’s out that he is in Seine.
  • My wife asked why our next therapy session was at a mountain river. I told her that I needed to valley date her.

Did These Flow To Your Funny Bone?

We hope you had as much fun reading these funny river puns and river jokes as we did. It took us forever to finish up this list because we were having too much fun chuckling at them!

As always, we’re on the lookout for anyone who knows any great river puns and jokes that we haven’t seen yet. We look at submissions often, and add the ones that we like!