33 Grass Puns & Jokes That Are Surprisingly Funny

Though it might surprise you, there are a bunch of great grass puns and grass jokes out there. While your lawn might not seem like the funniest topic, it’s actually perfect for structuring a good joke!

We promise that you’ll enjoy the grass puns and jokes on this list just as much as we did. You won’t be able to stop yourself from telling them to others!

• The Azteca Stadium in Mexico is so run-down and poorly maintained that foot-long grasses are on the field. The name of the stadium has since changed to “Grass-teca Stadium”.
• Someone smacked my neighbor in the face with a fistful of grass. He pressed charges of grass-ault on the culprit.
• The next day was my day to cut the grass on our lawn, so I looked less mow-tivated.
• The long grass blades protected us from the sun on our vacation to the grassland. We had no need for sunglasses since we had Sun-grass-es.
• Our garden has a special type of grass that can survive on the moon. We want to give it to E-lawn Musk to take it to the moon.
• Our beautiful grass is chicken proof! It’s im-peck-able. 
• There has been a series of lawn mower theft in the neighborhood, and we have since decided to create a watch group called Grass-ociation.
• A friend of mine dug a hole in the grass in his garden. He then filled it with water. I think he meant well, but I’m not sure what he was trying to achieve.
• My neighbor’s cow is assisting me in cutting the grass. He’s a lawn mower.
• My neighbor’s kitty cat assists him in cutting the grass on the lawn. The cat is a good lawn-meower.
• I was searching for caterpillar tracks on the grass when a tank ran me over.
• If I was a farmer I would feed marijuana to cows instead of grass. The steaks will be of high quality for sure.
• When he learned that it was his duty to trim the green grass the next day, he looked for-lawn.
• My friends argued about what grass colors they would prefer on their lawn. Isn’t that being grass-ist?
• Hulk gave me some great advice about my lawn and how to take care of it. People might be surprised, but he really does have green fingers!
• The other day, burglars entered a mansion by picking the lock with grass! They definitely planted the evidence.
• My father said that grass is not greener than other plants during a family discussion which I thought was very close-minded. I think it’s important not to make grass-umptions.
• In winter, the grass on our lawn uses moisturizer creams because they have grass-hes!
• If you are looking for a person to manage your garden skillfully, consider Mr cow. He is a fantastic lawn-mooer.
• Living next to a neat gardener is heartbreaking; the grass is always greener on the other side.
• At the rehab center in our neighborhood, there is a sign on the lawn that says, “Keep off the grass.”
• I decided to douse the area with beer before planting my lawn. I hoped the grass would come up to about half its height.
• We were on vacation in the savanna grasslands, and we had no watches, but luckily, we had an hour-grass to help us to track.
• During the Covid19 period, an ecology tutor asked children to draw different types of grass found on their lawns. The children were to submit the grass-essment online.
• I used to generate a lot of money through the clearance of leaves from lawns. I was raking it in.
• People who eat grass and later on produce milk are called cow-wokers.
• Baby grass snake was worried if she was poisonous since she had just bit her tongue.
• My grandfather taught me how to cut grass on our lawn. He is now gone for a lawn time.
• What do we call a place where cows go to refill their stomachs? You guessed it right; a grass-station.
• The flood was a hard time for us all. I specifically pitied our grass from the lawn. It must have been grass-ping for air.
• Hulk is the best gardener ever to exist in the universe because he has the most reliable green fingers. A cow that has been pursued by the feds for hiding behind grass has been arrested in Moss-cow.
• I just had a salad at a restaurant which has caused me so much pain in my stomach. My doctor has told me that I may have a condition called grass-troentiritis.
• “It’s unfortunate that grass was stolen from my garden,” A man looking forlorn said.

Did These Mow-tivate You?

We hope you had as much fun with these grass puns and grass jokes as we did. It was a blast to put together, and we’ll be sharing these with others during every summer from now on.

If you know any good ones that we didn’t include, don’t be shy. Send them over! If they make us laugh, we’ll add them to the list.