Penguin jokes and penguin puns are funny. There’s no denying it.
And why wouldn’t they be?
These little birds are hilarious! When you watch them waddle around and move their silly arms you have no choice but to smile (unless you’re a heartless monster).
That’s why out of all the pun lists we’ve put together, we were looking forward to this one the most.
And we were right.
The penguin jokes and puns below made us laugh quite a bit (and frequently resulted in us watching penguin videos online). It was a blast putting it together.
Enjoy!
- Did you hear about the new wallets for penguins? It’s called a snowbank.
- How do scientists pick out the happiest penguins? They are the ones who have a pen-grin.
- Why don’t penguins particularly like rock music? They mostly like sole.
- What do female penguins wear at the beach? They usually prefer to wear a beak-ini.
- How do most penguins pass their driver’s test? They wing it.
- Why do many penguins wear glasses? They have poor ice-sight.
- Why do penguins prefer Lipton’s? They love iced tea.
- How do penguins decide whether to stay on the ice or swim? They flipper a coin.
- Why are penguins such easy-going birds? They go with the floe.
- What do penguins order most at MacDonald’s? Ice-burgers.
- Who did the penguins nominate to run their Navy? Admiral Byrd.
- Why aren’t penguins friendly to one another when they first meet? The need to break the ice.
- What do you call the Penguin basketball team who had no I in their winning team? Penguns.
- Have you got your date for the penguin dance? They call it a snow-bowl.
- Why do penguins run in front of snowmobiles? To prove they aren’t chicken.
- How do penguins build a house? They just igloo it together.
- Why aren’t penguins found in the desert? Because they rarely get lost.
- How did the penguin order his alcohol? On the rocks.
- What causes penguins to go black and white and round and round? Revolving doors.
- What is a penguin’s favorite relative? Aunt Arctica.
- Why should you pick a penguin rather than a horse at the races? They are always in the Pole position.
- What do doctors usually give to treat penguins who are sick? Medical tweetments.
- Did you hear about the new penguins only movie theatre? It’s called a dive-in.
- What’s another name for really cold penguins? Brrr-ds.
- What’s the most popular store in Antarctica for penguins who lose their tail? A re-tale store.
- Why do penguins that share a nest rarely fight? They don’t want to fall out.
- What do penguins order the most in restaurants in Mexico? Brrrrrrrr-itos.
- Who’s the most famous rock star in penguin Antarctica? They love the rolling stones but simply adore Seal.
- What do you call a penguin who falls down a hill? Black, white, black, white, black, white, black, white
- What do penguins mostly catch when fishing at night? Starfish.
- What do penguins sing at retirement parties? “Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.”
- Why do many penguins go to the movie theatre? They liked the book.
- Why do penguins not like polar bears? They are polar opposites.
- Why do TV talk shows often talk about their pet penguins at the start of an interview? They find it really breaks the ice.
- Why do penguins make poor passenger pigeons? Because they don’t fly.
- Why are there so few penguins in Great Britain? Penguins are scared of Wales.
- Why do some penguins refuse to jump off the iceberg? They get cold feet.
- Why are there so few penguin pilots? They aren’t tall enough to meet the entrance requirements.
- What’s the most popular drink penguins order in Starbucks? An iced cappuccino?
- Why did the penguins take their kids to see the Disney movie dozens of times? They love Frozen.
- Why does Nike sell so few shoes to penguins? Because they prefer flipper-flops.
- Why do penguins usually carry fish in their beaks? They don’t have pockets.
- Why do penguins wear slippers at night? They never know when they’ll capsize off the ice, and will need them to swim.
- Why were the penguins disappointed when the Navy icebreaker appeared? There weren’t any seals aboard.
- Why are penguins often turned down at restaurants? Because of the signs that say “no shoes, no service”.
- Why do penguins love to see magicians? Because they often say Pick a cod, any cod.
- Who was the biggest emperor in all penguin land? Julius Freezer
- Why are male penguins so popular with girls? Because they are ice guys.
- Why should you decline to buy a cup of coffee at Starbucks for a penguin? They prefer fish.
- Why is the sea such a popular place with penguins? Because they generate plenty of waves.
- Why are penguins great at sales call centers? They are great cold callers.
What Did You Think?
We hope you had a good time reading this list of penguin jokes and penguin puns. It was one of our favorites, and we plan on revisiting quite often in the future!
If you’ve come up with any penguin jokes of your own, feel free to send them over. If they’re good we’ll be sure to add them!
