Wow. This list of bird puns took us a while. We had no idea there were so many!

But putting it together was definitely worth it.

There are so many bird puns you can weave into daily conversations (“That roasted chicken is pretty cheep, maybe we should get some for dinner”) that you’ll never run out. We were bringing these up and texting them to our friends for weeks!

We hope you have as much fun reading these funny bird puns as we did putting them together.

  • What kind of bird can’t use a comb? A bald eagle.
  • These birds are gonna make a killing in the stork market.
  • Did you hear about the bird who played football? He beaked in high school.
  • Why couldn’t anyone see the bird? Because it was in da skies!
  • What would a bird say to someone who did something nice?  You’re so tweet.
  • What does a secretary bird receive?  Phone caws.
  • This bird is single and ready to flamingle.
  • How do birds propose marriage?  With an engagement wing.
  • What is a depressed bird called? A bluebird!
  • Ducks prefer their soup with quakers.
  • Dude what the duck?
  • How would a crow flirt? They talk birdie.
  • What did they call it when birds fly into a pastry? Tweetie Pie!
  • What birds are colored green and peck on trees? Woody the Wood Pickle.
  • What does a bird say to encourage its friends? Toucan do it!
  • A polite bird introduces itself by saying pleased to tweet you.
  • When should you invest in birds? When it’s going cheep!
  • Sarcastic ducks tend to quack wise.
  • What birds are easy to buy at the grocery store? A kiwi.
  • Bird on the street is you like bird puns
  • A drug addict duck is better known as a quackhead.
  • What do you call a bird that is under the weather? Illegal
A funny looking penguin standing on ice
  • What do you call a parrot that flew away? A polygon.
  • What bird directed movie won an Oscar? Lord of the Wings.
  • Bird puns tend to fly right over my head
  • How does an injured bird make a safe landing? With its sparrow-chute.
  • The owl said to his friend “don’t worry i’m hooting for you.”
  • How do birds garnish a salad? With crowtons.
  • In order to understand country birds you have to learn the bird-nacular
  • What bird runs the church? A cardinal!
  • What do you call a crate of ducks? A box of quackers.
  • What did the crow say to his nagging wife? I bird you the first time!
  • Why did Mozart get rid of all his chickens? Because they kept saying “bach bach”!
  • Why did the bird feel bored at his job?  He was over Quail-ified.
  • Bird puns is it?  Toucan play that game.
  • What gets chicks in trouble at school? tweeting on a test.
  • How do chickens stay fit? Egg-cersize.
  • Which bird is always out of breath? A puffin!
  • When birds watch sad movies they tend to get emu-tional.
  • When a bird annoys you tell it to flock off.
  • Birds love to send out season’s tweetings over the holidays.
  • What do you call an incarcerated seagull? Jail-bird.
  • How do duck’s celebrate independence day?  Firequackers.
  • What kind of bird insults you? A mockingbird!
  • How many cans do you need to make a bird? Two cans.
  • Where do birds invest their money? In the stork market!
  • Which birds steal soap from the bath? Robber ducks!
  • What do you administer to a sick bird? Tweetment.
  • Birds often give each other birthday caw-ds
  • What’s a bird’s favorite song?  Owl you need is love
  • What do proud bird fathers tell their chicks?  You’re a chirp off the old block.
  • What was the owl’s favorite book? Hoot-dunits!
  • Let me give you a toucan of my appreciation
  • Bird puns are ducking awesome!
  • What bird is the best for a construction site? The crane.
  • The bird’s fancy new house caw-st a fortune.
  • What birds spend long hours in a monastery? Birds of prey!
  • Toucan’t touch this
  • Some birds like time owl by themselves.
  • The bird spent almost an hour making herself look dove-ly.
  • Di my bird just eat your pet rabbit….that hawkward
  • What kind of math was invented by birds? Owlgebra
A funny bird in a hat
  • What is the official language of geese? Porchageese.
  • What did the Eagle say when his heat went out? Birrrrrd.
  • What game do parrots enjoy? Hide and Speak!
  • What do you call a chicken who loves disco? A funky chicken.
  • What estate does bird royalty live on? Duckingham Palace.
  • That bird convict will definitely serve pigeon (prison) time.
  • I find your jokes emu-sing
  • Live life with no-egrets.
  • What is a burglar birds favorite tool? A crow-bar.
  • A crow flew to the top of a cell phone tower to make a long distance caw.
  • What bird is helpful at dinner? A swallow!
  • What do you call a bunch of chickens playing board games? Fowl play!
  • I saw a rather large bird sitting on a post a bit feather down the road.
  • What do you call a bird famous for their action movies? Steven Seagull.
  • That bird is crowing….crowing….gone.
  • Some birds have long migrations that really put them through the winger.
  • A bird with a positive outlook is called a peli-can.
  • A-parrot-ly, today is your birthday!.
  • What is a bird’s favorite bath soap? Dove.
  • Sometimes a bird could use a drink, good thing its cockatiel hour…
  • How do birds stick together? Velcrow.
  • What game doy ou play with baby birds? Beak-a-boo!
  • Crow away and leave me alone
  • This bird is im-peck-ablely dressed
  • Here’s another bird pun for you beak-ause you’re awesome!
  • A muscular bird is sometime called a stud puffin
  • Owl always love you!
  • Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant? Because he had a very big bill.
  • When the mayor was found dead near a crow fowl play was suspected.
  • What bird has a late night comedy show? Jay Leno.
  • What do you get when you buy bird hookers? Cherpies.
  • Hoo cares?
  • Bird children often recite the old rhyme wing around the rosie
  • Why do hummingbirds hum? Because they forgot the words.

Now Share These Bird Puns (Just Beak-ause You Can)

Now that we’ve shared the wonderful world of bird puns with you, it’s your responsibility to share them with your friends. Seriously, the world needs to hear these.

If you have any funny bird puns you’d like us to add to the list, send them over! We can’t promise that we’ll add them to the site, but we’ll definitely take a look.