39 Goose Puns & Jokes That Are Actually Funny

It’s always handy to know some funny goose puns and goose jokes, because these birds are everywhere! And not only that, they’re always raising a ruckus and being feisty.

This list of puns and jokes about geese will give you some great options the next time you see these birds when you’re out with your friends.

• What do you get when you cross a goose with a fruit? A Mangoose!
• Where do geese go to avoid the northern winter? Duck-ota!
• Do you know what they call a possessed gander? A polter-goose!
• What is a gander’s favorite pie? Gooseberry!
• Have you heard about the goose that keeps evading the park workers’ attempts to catch it? It’s a professional ducking goose!
• Why was the goose so upset by his tax return? Because he had a giant tax bill rather than having a de-duck-table.
• Which spell does a goose magician use to impress his friends? The “Honkus Ponkus” spell.
• Who is the most famous bird in Hollywood? Goose Willis!
• I don’t think my pet goose is normal. While she was roaming the yard, a snake decided to attack her. Surprisingly, she dodged the snake’s strike and killed it in self defense. I think she might actually be a mongoose.
• What movie do all geese like to watch? Goose Point Blank!
• What do you call geese that get scared while watching a scary movie or TV show? Goosebumps!
• What do you call an exotic food dish created from panko breaded goose that is then fried and served with seasonal fresh local veggies? “Honk-atso!”
• Why did the goose refuse to speak with the duck at the park pond? Because he had an inflated egoose!
• What do you call the capitol city in a kingdom ruled by geese? Lagoose!
• Who is the most famous singer in goose culture? Goose Springsteen!
• Why was the teenage goose grounded? Because his behavior at the family dinner disgooseted all of his relatives.
• Why did the geese rise up against their queen? Because, as the old saying goes, no bad deed goose unpunished.
• What do you call a gander that goes into shock when they fail to intimidate any of the other pond denizens? Flabbergooseted!
• What do you call it when a farmer spends an entire day trying to round up his birds? A wild goose chase.
• What do you call a Canadian goose that is really good at martial arts? Goose Lee!
• What do you call a goose that can’t control its gunshots at the gun range? A goose cannon!
• How do sports geese show their camaraderie after scoring a point in a match? They give each other goose bumps.
• Why was the goose afraid of waddling in public? Because it was always second-goosing itself.
• What is the name of the job for the baggage handlers at the geese-port? Cargoosers!
• What do you get when you cross a Canada Goose DNA with dinosaur DNA? A Stegoose-sauras!
• What do you call a goose that can speak both English and French? Canadian!
• What kind of appetizer does a family of geese like to eat when they go out to eat at a fancy restaurant? Deep fried asparagoose!
• Who do geese call when one of their young goes missing? Liam Geesen!
• How does a German goose greet its friends at breakfast? “Goosen Morgen mein freunds!”
• Do you know who was voted the sexiest goose alive last year? Ryan Goosling!
• How can you tell when a goose is stuck in air-traffic? It is honking!
• Do you know which side of the goose’s body has the highest number of feathers? The outside!
• What was the reason the police gave for arresting the goose in the park? It was suspected of fowl play.
• Why are geese never invited to play duck, duck, goose? Because even if you call it a duck, it will still chase you.
• What do you call a gander that wanders around the countryside looking at everything without any real purpose or focus? A gandering gander.
• While traveling in Canada recently, I needed to get a ride to the convention center from my hotel and it may as well have been on goose back because I felt every bump on the way there.
• The zoo had a couple of rescued geese, but they’ve recently escaped and the zoo keepers can’t seem to find them anywhere. It’s anybody’s goose where they got to.
• While we were on our walk in the park today, one of the ganders that frequent the park suddenly burst out laughing uncontrollably and couldn’t stop. One of the park staff rushed him off to the vet where the gander was diagnosed with a mild case of fungoose.

Did These Make You Honk?

There’s nothing like a hilarious goose pun or goose joke to bring a smile to your face. These birds are just plain funny!

We’d love to hear from you if you happen to know any other good ones we should consider adding to this list. We add new puns and jokes all the time.