53 Funny Egg Puns & Jokes That You’ll Want To Poach
There are so many funny egg puns and jokes out there that it took us a while to find the best ones.
But what we came up with is eggs-ellent.
Eggs have been a part of comedy for quite some time, so this really shouldn’t come as a surprise. From seeing people throw eggs at each other in old comedy movies to egging your elderly neighbor’s house because they had the nerve to bake homemade cookies for halloween instead of giving you skittles.
It’s all just good harmless fun.
We hope these egg puns and egg jokes bring a smile to your face, and give you something to say the next time you’re bored in the dairy aisle.
1. What do you call visitors from outer space in the shape of an egg? Eggs-terrestrial.
2. Why do eggs often take nature trips to Africa? Because they are natural eggs-plorers.
3. Why are eggs so naturally fit? They tend to eggs-ercise!
4. What’s a common chicken disease? Restless egg-syndrome.
5. Why do many egg children pretend to be sick and don’t go to school? Because they didn’t study for their eggs-am.
6. Why are hens never late for work? They use the eggs-press lane on the highway.
7. How do eggs know they are sick? They go to the doctor and get an eggs-amination.
8. What did the egg inventor complain to the patent office? That’s egg-actly my idea.
9. Why do so many restaurants serve eggs early? They open at the crack of dawn.
10. What did the clown say to the eggs? You crack me up.
11. Why do chickens sleep like a baby after being chased by the family dog? Because they are Eggs-hausted.
12. What is a chicken egg’s favorite comedy movie? The hot chick.
13. Why do many eggs get sent to the principal’s office? Because they are practical
14. Why do so many burglars steal eggs? They like them poached.
15. Why wouldn’t the preacher allow his wife to buy eggs? He was afraid of deviled-eggs?
16. What do egg parents often say to their children before they head to school? Have an eggs-tra special day!
17. Why is the cost of an egg breakfast getting so high? Because many of them don’t like to be scrambled.
18. What happens to chicks if they really behave at school? They often get eggs-pelled.
19. Why are eggs such great track stars? They don’t like to be beaten.
20. Why do chickens rarely have high cholesterol? They tend to lay off eggs.
21. Why wasn’t the egg afraid of the chef? He was willing to whisk it.
22. Why do many eggs resist becoming part of an omelet? They’ve heard it isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
23. Why do chickens only have 6 days a week on their calendars? Because they hate fry-days.
24. Why do chicks rarely get into fights? Because they are a little chicken.
25. How do chickens tend to plan their day? They just hatch a plan.
26. What are the cheapest eggs at the grocery store? Free range eggs.
27. What’s the number one reason that egg celebrities get called out on social media? They are accused of being shell-outs.
28. Why do so many eggs get into Ivy League schools? They tend to be natural egg-heads.
29. Why are eggs often pulled over by traffic cops? They love to put their foot on the egg-celerator.
30. Where did you get your facts said the teacher to the chicken? I used our hen-cyclopedia.
31. What’s the most famous artist in egg-land? Yolksy Ono.
32. How do they make egg rolls at a Chinese restaurant? They just give them a little push.
33. Why do chickens frequently escape fires? They follow the eggs-its.
34. Why are eggs cited so often by game wardens? They get pinched for poaching.
35. Why are eggs great investors? They tend everything in one basket.
36. What’s the most common egg psychiatrist diagnosis? The patient is eggs-centric.
37. What do you call a really talented egg? Egg-ceptional.
38. Why are so many eggs getting into the UFC and boxing? They are hard to beat.
39. What’s the most popular paint for chickens to buy at the hardware store? Those that
40. What did the football coach say to his egg team? Play sunny side up.
41. What did the horror movie producers promise to egg watchers? That they would be terri-fried.
42. What did the new egg brag to his friends about his success with women? I just got laid.
43. What James Bond movies do eggs like to watch on Easter? Live and let Dye.
44. What is an egg’s favorite movie star? Arnold Schwarzenegger, the eggs-terminator.
45. Why are so many chickens being lined up as Marvel movie characters? Because they
have eggs-ray vision.
46. What’s the most popular gas station for eggs to fuel up their cars? A Shell station.
47. What do chefs say about customers who order only egg whites for breakfast? They can’t take a yolk.
48. Who are the most popular comedians on the egg pun circuit? Comedy-hens.
49. What’s the number one reason eggs divorce their mates? They feel egg-nored.
50. What do eggs order the most when going to Starbucks? Eggspresso.
51. What do you call an enclosure where Eskimos keep their eggs? An egg-loo.
52. Why do eggs go out for fullbacks in football rather than quarterbacks? Because they are natural runners.
53. Why do so many ugly eggs get into Harvard? They are omlet smarter than they look.
Did These Crack You Up?
The egg puns and egg jokes on this list are pretty timeless. If you memorize a few of these there’s a good chance you’ll be able to tell them when you’re in the nursing home.
We know this is a popular topic, so don’t hesitate if you have any egg jokes or puns of your own that you’d like to share with us. If they’re funny (we have high quality standards you know) we’ll definitely add them!