Sleep puns and jokes are universal. We’re all tired these days (Netflix > sleep), so it’s something we all have in common.
That means there are endless opportunities to complain or brag about how little sleep you’re getting (there are two kinds of people out there). Instead of falling into the same boring conversations, drop in some funny sleep puns to mix things up!
There are only two ways it can go. The first is that the listener will appreciate your wit and comedic skills. The second is they’ll roll their eyes and never tell you how tired they are again.
Either way you win.
We had a blast putting together this list. It’s a mix of sleep puns and sleep jokes, so take whichever you enjoy the most and put them to work!
- What does a scuba diver always put on before bed? A snore-kel.
- What happens when an egg works all day? It becomes eggs-hausted!
- I decided to try going to bed listening to music last night, and boy did I sleep soundly!
- What’s another name for a wood cutter who is sleeping on the job? A slumberjack.
- The pig kept putting everyone to sleep. He really was quite a boar.
- I met a man who always went to bed on top of a chandelier. He considered himself to be a light sleeper.
- The young girl made sure to always tuck sugar cubes under her bed at night. This helped her have sweet dreams.
- When I was in college I got paid to do a sleep study at my local hospital. Let me tell you, it really was a dream job!
- Do you want to give your iPhone the ability to help you fall asleep? Don’t worry, there’s a nap for that.
- I’ve gotten in the habit of falling asleep while working on my crossword puzzle. I always seem to wake up with a puzzled look on my face!
- I knew a man who had to retire from being a shepherd. Whenever he started to count his flock he fell asleep.
- Before deciding if I wanted to accept a job at the mattress factory I asked them if I could sleep on it.
- Why did the man keep his bicycle next to his bed at night? He didn’t want to start walking in his sleep.
- I heard about a boy who always had crazy dreams about eating a huge marshmallow. One morning he woke up and his pillow was gone.
- My mother always used to put her watch underneath her pillow before going to bed. She valued waking up on time.
- I recently attached an alarm clock to my shoes. This way, my foot will never fall asleep.
- How do you make a baby astronaut fall asleep? You just rocket.
- Last night my deaf boyfriend was talking a lot in his sleep. He kept poking me in the eye.
- Dreaming in colors is merely a pigment of your imagination.
- Did you know that it’s easy to avoid sleep for 30 days and still not get tired? You simply sleep at night!
- What part of a car needs the most sleep? The tires.
- I had an amazing dream that I was in a Lord Of The Rings movie last night. I was definitely Tolkein in my sleep.
- Anyone who is able to climb the world’s highest mountain is extremely impressive to me. When do they ever rest?
- I took a nap in the weight room, but I had a fitful sleep.
- Did you know that tall people sleep longer in bed?
- I was working so hard to fix the plug in the kitchen sink that I fell asleep. I was completely drained.
- My wife came into the room and asked me if she could use one of my sleeping pills. I told her to go ahead and knock herself out.
- Why did the woman run laps around her bed each night? It helped her catch up on sleep.
- Why did the nurse make sure to whisper when near the medicine? She didn’t want to wake up all of the sleeping pills.
- While it’s not a good idea to take laxatives and sleeping pills together, you can’t deny that they make you sleep just like a baby.
- There was a kidnapping at the daycare center the other day. She woke up after an hour.
- Which dinosaur is the loudest sleeper? The tyrannosnorus rex.
- I just got one of those trendy corduroy pillow cases. After sleeping with it for a few nights I see what they meant when they said it’s making headlines.
- I went to see some live music the other day and the lead guitarist passed out in the middle of a song. He had rocked himself to sleep.
- Have you ever woken up in the best mood and kissed the person sleeping beside you? I did that this morning and I got banned from the airline.
- I fell into a deep sleep on top of my phone yesterday. That’s what I get for downloading a nap.
- Did you know that there’s an animal that never sleeps without shoes on. A horse.
- Two kids broke into the grocery store and stole over one hundred energy drinks. I don’t know how they sleep at night.
- Did you know there’s a medical name for when your feet fall asleep? Coma-toes.
- I just learned why dragons always sleep during the day. It’s so they can have energy when they fight knights.
- Last night I fell asleep with my contacts in. I had the clearest dreams.
- Do you know what food makes me sleepy? Pizzzzza.
- I knew a girl that had a rare medical condition that made her eat food while she slept. I believe it’s called insom-nom-nom-nia.
- How do you help an elephant get to sleep? Give it a trunkquilizer.
- What do you call a person who sleeps next to a close relative? A napkin.
- What did the mother cow say to the baby cow at night? Go to sleep, it’s pasture bedtime.
- There was an interesting scientific study recently that discovered how much sleep a teenager needs. Five more minutes.
- My doctor said I should stop eating cookies in bed because it was giving me crummy sleep.
- I don’t think I could handle being a coffee taster. I just don’t know how they sleep at night.
- What did the mother broom say to the baby broom at night? Time for you to go to sweep!
- Why did the girl always bring a ruler with her when she went to bed? She wanted to see how long she slept.
- Scientists recently found out that secret agents tend to get the best sleep. The theory is that it’s because they’re always undercover.
- What’s another name for a sleepwalking nun? A roamin’ catholic.
- What do you call a bill taking a nap? A bull dozer.
- I just read in the paper that a young boy was sent to prison for not going to sleep. Apparently he was resisting arrest.
- Let me tell you, sleeping comes quite naturally to me. I can do it with my eyes closed.
- I keep having trouble deciding if I should get rid of my old pillow or not. I think I need another few days to sleep on it.
- What drawing implement makes you tired? A crayawn.
Put These Sleep Puns To Work!
Now that you have a number of sleep puns and jokes at your disposal, it’s your responsibility to use them whenever anyone brings up how tired they are. You have a moral obligation.
Let us know if there are any sleep jokes or puns that you think we should add to the list. The possibilities truly are endless, so we’re always open to adding more in the future! Just send us a message and we’ll include your suggestions (if they’re good).
