56 Boat Puns & Jokes That Will Crack A Stern Face

A ship full of people thinking of boat puns and jokes

Boat puns and boat jokes might not be the first things that come to mind when you’re trying to think of something funny. But they should. 

There’s nothing like some good ship puns and jokes to spice things up. If you’re on a long boat ride, are watching the water with your significant other, or simply want something funny to say.

These are just what you need.

We had a surprisingly good time collecting these, and we hope you enjoy reading them!

1. Where do you take a sick boat? To the dock.

2. What do you think you are doing? Just Cruisin for a Bruisin.

3. When you fish upon a star….

4. Knot on my time

5. I sea what you were trying to do.

6. Sea you later alligator!

7. Why couldn’t the sailors play cards? Because the captain was standing on the deck.

8. Why don’t we take the sea-nic route?

9. I opened a boat selling business upstairs. The sails are going through the roof.

10. What type of vegetable can you not take on a boat? A leek.

11. Oh no, there’s a leek in my boat!

12. What type of sailors blow their nose a lot? The anchor chiefs.

13. How do the dogs stay above water? Pier pressure.

14. Why do sailors like to eat alphabet soup? So they can find the seven seas.

15. Canoe think of any boating puns?

16. What boat does the dentist work on? The tooth ferry.

17. What happens if you give a man a fish? He will eat for one day. What happens if you teach a man to fish? He will sit in his boat and drink beer all day.

18. Why didn’t the admiral buy a new hat? He was worried about cap sizing.

19. Why do Swedish naval ships display barcodes on their halls? So when they return to the harbor they can Scandinavian.

20. I’m not big on buoyancy. But do whatever floats your boat.

21. My local store is having a big sale on rowing paddles. It is an amazing oart deal.

22. How did the sailors get marooned? A ship load of blue crashed into a ship load full of red paint.

23. What is the sailors favorite store to shop at? Old Navy.

24. I saw a sailor with a big bushy beautiful beard today. Was it a navel beard? No, his beard was on his chin.

25. You are very late for a sailing trip, but it’s a-boat time you got here.

26. Why are all of the baby boats afraid of the boat teacher? She is very stern.

27. Boats always tell really good stories because they always have a ferry tale ending.

28. Seas the day!

29. That ship is always very polite. It always has a bow for everyone.

30. I started to go around the back of the ship until the captain gave me a stern look.

31. Ships are always slower unless they have three masks, but they always get their schooner or later.

32. The sellers were on their ship wondering where everyone is: Sailor 1: Our ship is empty, where is everyone? Sailor 2: I haven’t got a crew.

33. Our ship won’t stay away from the rocks, it’s cruising for a bruising.

34. The captain took the ferry to the mechanic. The mechanic says, “Would you like a new paint job?“ The captain says, “ no thank you, it’s already in shipshape.”

35. The ferry boat dropped off a load of meat and cheese at my house the other day. It was a deliferry.

36. Canoe believe that we won the rowing championship?

37. Two boats passed each other in the ocean the other day. The first boat said “Hello”. While the second boat said “Water you doing here?”

38. I don’t like it when I drop my paddle over the side of my canoe. It is always such an oar deal to get it back.

39. Kayaking is so much fun. Canoe think or a more fun way to spend your time?

40. One kayakers ask the other kayaker if they have ever been to the Atlantic Ocean. Their response was,” oh I would never go there, I have very Pacific tastes.”

41. Be careful to never call your canoes paddle by the wrong name. It can become very oar-kward.

42. Some docks are very upsetting to my boat. She just doesn’t appreciate all of the pier pressure.

43. A long time ago the robo was the fastest boat in the marina. It’s yacht anymore.

44. You can always tell which yacht belongs to a rock band. It likes to dock and roll.

45. Other boats always think that a canal boat is pushy. He just keeps barging in on them.

46. The barge was a wreck after the large storm.

47. My boat isn’t feeling well today, I have to take it to the dock.

48. I’d like to have a party on my boat, it is always a great sail-abration.

49. The rope connected to my anger started talking to me the other day. I decided to ask you if it was a person now. It replied, “I’m a frayed not.”

50. I didn’t plan on going sailing today, but I decided to seas the day instead. 

51. I’m trying to decide if I’m going to get my anchor rope a Christmas present this year. But it depends on if it’s knotty or nice.

52. There’s a man that keeps walking around the harbor sticking poles on all of the boats. He is the harbor mast-er.

53. Captain: “Why did you put the anchor on a scale?“ Sailor: “ you told me to weigh the anchor.”

54. I went to the boat sail and the workers asked me, “Yacht can I help you with today?”

55. Leaving boating school is sad, I hated saying bye to my piers.

56. I don’t plan on taking the highway today, I think I’d rather try taking the sea-nic route to the docks.

Canoe Believe How Funny These Are?

Weren’t these boat puns and jokes funny? We understand if you were a bit skeptical when we brought these up at first, but we bet they grew on you.

If you have any ship puns or ship jokes that you think deserve a spot on the list, send them over. We take a long time to check our messages, but once we do we’ll go ahead and add them.