45 Funny Nose Jokes & Puns That Will Make You Snort

Funny nose jokes and nose puns never get old. There’s nothing like a good one-liner on this topic to make you laugh until it hurts!

We hope you have a great time with these nose jokes and puns. The great thing about these is it’s never hard to bring them up!

• How did he stop the skunk from smelling?
  Held his nose.
• My friend was baptized by a vicar wearing a false nose and mustache.
  I consider it a blessing in disguise.
• Which sailors blew their noses most often?
  The Anchor Chiefs.
• My friend has undergone so many surgeries that she picks her nose from a catalog.
• Why did Pinocchio’s nose grow every time he slept?
  Because he was lying all the time.
• I thought his nose jokes stink, but his eye jokes were even cornea.
• I enrolled in a nose-whipping competition but was disqualified.
  I definitely blew it.
• I asked my friend if he ever thought about how a nose smells.
  He told me that it doesn’t.
• Why can’t a nose be 12-inches long?
  Because it would be a foot.
• My friend was accused of lying about how much snot came out of his nose when he sneezed.
  He was blowing it out of proportion.
• I don’t really know the name of the person who doesn’t have a nose or body.
  I guess nobody nose his name.
• I went out with some of my friends and one of them had a runny nose.
  I know it sounds funny, but it’s snot.
• The pair of eyes were having a chat.
  One eye tells the other, “There is something that smells between me and you.”
• We went to visit the meadow where we used to play when we were kids.
  The scents all over were familiar. It was very nose-talgic.
• She bought a gold-scented candle and burned it.
  It had a very rich aroma.
• What do people do when they walk past snobby vegetables in the market?
  Turnip their noses.
• The prayerful nose always knew that an angel was watching over him.
  The angel was heaven-scent.
• I complimented my dad that he smells good the other day.
  He replied, “Maybe it’s because I use both my nostrils.”
• The manager introduced a new fragrance at work.
  Every employee has to follow it or be scent home.
• What’s the name of the person who doesn’t know much and also has no nose?
  Nose-less.
• I don’t know why many people pick their noses.
  I’ve always preferred the one nose that I was born with.
• My friend was sick and had a runny nose that he could not fix.
  I told him, “Break its legs.”
• What was the name of the gang that only targeted people with runny noses?
  Aller G’s.
• He accidentally sprayed some deodorant in his mouth yesterday.
  Every time he talked, there was a weird axe-scent coming out.
• My colleague decided to make a witty perfume.
  I told her the most important component is the scents of humor.
• There was a suspicious person with a peg nose that we saw the other day.
  We called him a suspeg.
• My dad got the flu. He said it was like his nose went on strike.
  I told him, “You should picket.”
• The nose was sad at the football practice.
  Maybe it’s because it wasn’t picked.
• I dislike people who refuse to cover their noses and mouths when sneezing.
  They make me sick.
• There was a serial killer without a nose that was caught the other day.
  He had committed scentless acts of violence.
• My brother told me if I ate in the car and he smelled something rotten later, I would have to give him $30 of my $150 monthly allowance.
  He got his 20 per-scent.
• Why was the nose tired?
  Because it kept running.
• He noticed a terrible smell in his house which smelled familiar.
  Then he reek-ognized it.
• The pig could never mind its own business.
  It was known as the nosey porker.
• I was ill and told my dad I had a runny nose.
  He told me, “Tell it to walk instead.”
• My nephew’s doll had a broken nose. He was searching for new noses to put on.
  I told him that noses are made at the ol-factory.
• Which punctuation smells best?
  Semi-cologne.
• How do you make a Wookie smell good?
  You give him a De-Yoda-rant.
• After staying away for so long, the nose decided to visit her hometown.
  She was overcome with nostril-gia.
• What was the name of the hippo with a sinus infection?
  Heaposnotamus.
• There is a new horror movie that has a man who possesses people by sneezing.
  It is based on achoo story.
• Why is the nose located in the middle of our face?
  Because that’s the scenter.
• The T-Rex fell and broke its nose.
  The doctor said it needed a dinoplasty.
• Our friend can smell whenever there is trouble nearby.
  We call him scenter of a tension.

Pick Your Favorites And Share Them!

We hope you found some funny nose jokes and nose puns to tell with your friends. Out of all the topics we’ve covered on this site, this one might be our favorite!

If you know any other good puns or jokes about noses, collect them and send them to us! We’ll add any that we think are funny enough to be included.