67+ Funny Hospital Jokes & Puns That You Need To See

Even though the place itself can be a bit scary, there are plenty of funny hospital jokes and hospital puns that can get you through the experience. Let’s face it, hospitals are kind of bizarre, and there are plenty of silly ailments that can be used for the sake of a good laugh.

This list of hospital jokes and puns surprised us. We weren’t expecting there to be so many good ones out there!

• The dermatologist lost his job at the hospital due to making multiple rash decisions.
• My sister said she was doomed to be an osteopath. She said she could feel it in her bones.
• Nurses carry red markers at work for drawing blood.
• I started my dermatologist career from scratch.
• Dentists always aim to get to the root of your problem.
• The Power Ranger said it’s morphine time after being sent to the hospital.
• After my sister gave birth to her first-born child, I noted that hospitals greatly resemble hotels. They have excellent womb service.
• The doctors ask us to wait to be served at the hospital since we are patient.
• After accidentally drinking a flask of invisible ink, I am now at the hospital, eager to be observed.
• The cookie was hospitalized due to feeling crummy.
• Mining towns don’t have hospitals since everyone suffers from slight injuries.
• After my wife gave birth in our car on the way to the hospital, we named our son Carson.
• Ghosts visit the witch doctor when they are sick.
• Before, I used to get heartburn after eating a birthday cake. It was until the doctor recommended that I should first take off the candles that my problem was solved.
• After my daughter asked me to take her to the hospital due to a red mark on her face, I told her we should not make rash decisions.
• After waiting in the hospital queue for over three hours, I complained to the triage nurse that I was trying to be patient.
• Plastic surgery is the most general surgery conducted in Lego hospital.
• The doctor gave the sick snake an aspirin.
• A beekeeper visited the physician since he had hives.
• After a man was admitted to hospital for swallowing 5 plastic horses, he was diagnosed as stable.
• A frozen Ibuprofen is called a chill pill.
• After rushing to my local hospital, I was surprised to find that it had changed into a library. Can you imagine suffering in silence?
• My brother was in hospital after being electrocuted. When he was leaving, he had been discharged.
• The doctor laughed at the X-ray of my arm since she discovered it was humerus.
• On campus, I fell in love with an X-ray technician whom I met during a brief hospital stay. To this day, I always wonder what she observed in me.
• The cookie went to the hospital because he was feeling crumby.
• Never deceive the X-ray specialist. They can view you all through.
• My new job in the hospital involves moving patients around. It is not involving but a rewarding job.
• The mid-wife crisis is when the hospital loses all Delivery and labor nurses.
• A peekaboo accident made me get into the hospital ICU.
• The ultra-sound guy is the most pleasing in the hospital.
• A golfer got a heart attack that killed him when being taken to hospital. He was on a passageway to heaven.
• A hop-eration made the frog go to the hospital.
• The pig got to the hospital through a ham-balance.
• Doctors believe there is no way to help a person with a mortal wound.
• iTunes is the best song for opticians.
• The paracetamol was taken to the hospital because he is a painkiller.
• Manuel is a Mexican guy leaving the hospital. 
• Hip Pop is the best music genre for a chiropractor.
• A hospitalized man who was a victim of a brutal accident asked the doctor why he wasn’t feeling his legs. The doctor replied it was because she had cut off his arms.
• To get heeled, you need to visit a foot doctor.
• I took flowers to my hospitalized wife since I believed my girlfriend would love them.
• After my mother worked as a renovator in the hospital, she found it pretty rewarding.
• After a stranger asked me the fastest way to the hospital, I pushed him under the train.
• The morgue is the best place to work in the hospital since they offer a coroner office.
• My brother became a dermatologist after making multiple rash decisions.
• A rude patient is called ill-mannered.
• After getting hospitalized due to SpongeBob Addiction, I asked them if they would admit me into the squid ward.
• After trying to play hide and seek in the hospital, they finally found me in the ICU.
• We should give a sick lemon a lemon aid.
• The bread burned up when it was kept in the toaster.
• Due to throwing sick beets, the DJ was not permitted at the vegetable hospital.
• The stalker was admitted to the ICU.
• After asking the surgeon to give me a substance for my liver, he gave me an onion.
• The difference between Jello and The Sahara is that they are in-hospital dessert and inhospitable deserts, respectively.
• After having difficulty opening the banana, I visited a doctor and told her I couldn’t peel it well.
• A bacteria posted an online video expecting it would go viral.
• Sturgeons are fish that work in hospitals.
• A pharmacist giving the wrong prescription is a bitter pill to swallow.
• After a blanket fell off from a guy in the hospital, he never recovered.
• After a friend and I visited my mother in the hospital, we observed that all the nurses possessed red crayons for drawing blood.
• The patient dog waited outside the hospital building the entire day.
• I was admitted to hospital due to my fuelish art of drinking petrol.
• The hip-replacement guy is the finest in the hospital when the ultra-sound guy is absent.
• We should take the bird to the hospital for some tweetment.
• What is the need for emergency generators in hospitals? In my opinion, it’s because they have too many emergencies, to begin with.

Discharge These Jokes On Others (Ew)

We hope this list of funny hospital jokes and hospital puns brought a smile to your face. This topic is one of our favorites, and we know some of them will come to mind the next time we need to make a visit there.

There’s nothing like a little laughter to get you through a broken bone!