23 X-Ray Jokes & Puns You Absolutely Need To Scan

A doctor thinking of funny x-ray jokes and puns

X-ray jokes and x-ray puns are timeless. There’s just something funny about getting scanned by a device that can see right through you. It opens up so many humorous possibilities!

We had a lot of fun gathering these funny x-ray jokes and puns, and we’re sure that you’ll enjoy reading them!

  • What do you think will happen to Ray if he changes his name?
    He will become an X-ray.
  • Nothing takes longer than a first year student trying to finish an X-ray
  • Radiologists don’t take selfies. They take skelfies using the X-Ray
  • Husband: Why does it always take so long to get an X-ray in this hospital?
    Wife: Maybe it’s because they always have a skeleton staff working
  • Why are cats better than dogs in radiology? Because dog’s cannot operate an MRI machine but CATSCAN
  • Doctor: I think a marriage between a radiologist and radiographer would be very transparent.
    Nurse: How come?
    Doctor: Since they can see right through each other
    Nurse: (laughing) Well, I don’t think that marriage will last for long
  • Why did the student fail the medical exam after conducting an X-ray on her lower torso. Maybe she didn’t put her heart into it
  • I asked my friend for sunglasses that can see inside someone’s eyes.
    She recommended X-Ray Bans.
  • Me: Superman has X-ray vision in his eyes, right?
    Friend: Yes, of course. It’s one of his abilities.
    Me: Does that mean he can still see when he closes his eyes?
    Friend: (puzzled) Honestly. I don’t know.
  • A patient was waiting for his X-ray results at the emergency room. The doctor came back with the x-ray while his hands were trembling. Scared, the patient asked, “What’s wrong, doctor?
    The doctor replied, “This is what I had feared the most.”
    Still confused, the patient asked, “What do you mean?”
    The doctor whispered, “Skeletons!”
  • Two guys are seated at the bar happily drinking beer.
    Random guy1: Hey. Where do you think superman inherited his X-ray ability?
    Random guy2: Uh, I guess from his parents. Genetics and all that kind of stuff.
    Random guy1: Then, that means he has great parental super vision.
  • I went to get an X-ray at the hospital yesterday. After waiting for quite a while, the doctor came back with my results. He told me, “There’s a saying that my father used to tell me when I was a young kid, ‘A picture is worth a thousand words’,”
    he held up my X-ray as he continued, “But this one can only be described using two words, ‘You’re screwed’.”
  • My friend and I were arguing if people with X-ray vision exist. Our argument continued for hours until she told me she could see right through my argument.
    I know. She’s kind of a hypocrite.
  • Patient: Is radiology an easy profession?
    Radiologist: I mean, it’s not always black and white. There’s also a lot of gray area. But overall, it’s a g-ray-t job.
  • I don’t know why my x-ray technician accepted to go on a date with me after constantly saying she does not go out with patients.
    Guess she saw something in me. 
  • A doctor was conducting a presentation to recently hired interns at the hospital.
    Doctor: As you can see, the X-ray shows a broken rib. Anyone know how to go about fixing a broken rib?
    Intern 1: You can use a splint or cast.
    Doctor: Yes. That’s one way. Anyone else?
    Intern 2: Can’t you just fix it with Photoshop.
    Doctor: Get out!
  • Two guys are sitting outside a party sipping their beers while talking about their favorite movies.
    Guy 1: Lois Lane must have breast cancer. Don’t you think?
    Guy 2: Why on earth would you even think of something like that.
    Guy 1: I mean, think about it. She does get X-rayed too many times, obviously.
    Guy 2: Yeah, I think you’ve had enough for today buddy.
  • Earlier, I was in the emergency room waiting for the doctor to come back with my results for a blood test. As I sat there waiting patiently, I overheard two nurses talking about a patient who had just been brought in the ER.

    Apparently, this patient was experiencing severe rectal pain. After conducting an X-ray, they found out that the guy had at least 7 toy horses in his colon. However, the nurses said that his condition was stable.
  • Patient: Any news doctor? I’ve been here for quite some time.
    Doctor: Let me first go and get your X-ray.
    Patient: Wait, what? I don’t think I’ve ever dated someone called Ray.
    Doctor: Okay. Seems I’ll have to schedule a brain scan too.
  • What was the patient told by the dentist to go and take to the X-ray Department?
    Tooth Pics.
  • I wanted to have an X-ray done only on my wrist, but I didn’t want to go to the hospital. Instead, I went to the Airport.
  • A girl calls her boyfriend while at the hospital.
    Boyfriend: Babe, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?
    The girl answers through her tears,
    Girlfriend: I just saw my x-ray.
    Boyfriend: What? I thought I told you to stay away from him.

Did You Scan Any You Like?

We hope you found a few good x-ray jokes and x-ray puns on this list for you to share with others. They can be good for cheering someone up while they’re at the doctor, or just killing some time!

As always, if you know any funny x-ray jokes or x-ray puns that we should include, send them to us. We add submissions to the site all the time!