27 Ear Puns & Jokes That You’ll Be Happy You Heard

A woman listening to ear puns

Great ear puns and ear jokes have been told for ages. There are so many great angles you can take when coming up with them!

That’s why we had such a great time collecting these. Give them a read to see what we mean!

  • Have you heard of the man who had his ears chopped off? He also did not.
  • To have my ears cleaned, I went to my ENT specialist. He advised me to go see him once a year to have my ears cleaned.Therefore, I now have an ear-ly doctor’s appointment!
  • I had ear surgery last week, but my doctor hasn’t told me anything.Now I’m debating whether or not this is a good thing!
  • My mom told me that her ears were ringing. I stated that it was ear-rings! She was not happy with me.
  • I told my physician that I was deaf in my left ear. He looked at me puzzled and asked if I was certain. I told him I was definite. 
  • Why can’t the scarecrow keep a secret? Because corn has ears. 
  • The crime scene’s room was quietly accessed by the police officers. There were numerous windows in the room where everyone’s ears were missing. To put it mildly, the room was quite ear-y!
  • Two ears entered the sound laboratory significantly later than usual.He yelled, “Get out of h-ear” when the security guard caught them.
  • Loud sounds and noises can hertz your ear drums. 
  • The tennis star was taken into custody by the police after they found him dangling his tennis balls and sets from his ears. He was taken into custody by the police on the suspicion of racket-ea-ring!
  • Don’t ever listen to a match. It just might burn your ears. 
  • I’m hard of hearing because I inserted Viagra in my ear. 
  • Did you know you call a bear, a B when it has no ear? 
  • A pirate decided to get his ears pierced. When he inquired how much it would cost, they let him know it would cost a buccaner.
  • My dad has been working in a metal factory for years. It’s no wonder he can hear. That heavy metal is bad for his ears. 
  • What are Spok’s ears called? Left ear, right ear, and final frontier. 
  • When your ears are ringing, what do you do? You pick them up and say hello. 
  • “I think I have a stalker,” declares one corn ear to the other. The second corn responds, “That’s awesome! Are they handsome? The ear says, “No, he is way too husky!”
  • I like to clean my ears with q-tips and my wife gets so mad at me. She always tells me not to. Atleast, I think that’s what she tells me. 
  • Although I haven’t seen inside my ears themselves, I have heard good things.
  • Why can’t your ear be as long as 12 inches? Because then it would be classified as a foot. 
  • I recently told my spouse that I love it when they whisper sweet things in my ear, so she leaned in close and whispered, “Maple Syrup.”
  • A fly got into the cow’s ear while I was milking it. I just kept milking anyway, not really phased by it. The cow didn’t seem bothered. The same fly showed up in the milk bucket a bit later. It’s no wonder where that saying, into one ear and out the udder, came from. 
  • A couple was strolling down the beach when they noticed someone lying on the sand by the water, sunbathing with a shell shoved in their ear. The couple decided to let the person know they had a big shell in their ear. They figured they must have gotten hit by a wave and didn’t know, but were really confused about how this person didn’t feel it . The couple said,” Hey! There’s a shell in your ear!” The person who was sunbathing looked at them confused and said,” You said what?” The couple again let the person know there was a shell stuck in their ear. The sunbather yelled even louder,” What did you say? If it’s not too much trouble, speak louder. I CAN’T HEAR YOU because I HAVE A SHELL pushed IN MY EAR!”

Did You Hear Any That You Liked?

Hopefully a few of these ear puns and ear jokes resonated with you. The great thing about these is you can use them whenever you want! Whenever someone needs you to repeat yourself, hit them with one of these!

And as always, if you know any others we’d love to check them out!