33 Shell Puns & Jokes That Will Actually Make You Laugh

A shell on the beach which reminds people of puns and jokes about it

There are so many great shell puns and shell jokes being told around the world that it was hard for us to pick our favorites. Coming up with this list took a surprising amount of time!

Give it a read and let us know which ones you like the most!

  • What suit do all chickens wear for every birthday party? A shell-suit!
  • What did the beachcombers say when they discovered a brilliant pink clam shell on their weekly walk? “Look, it’s a she-shell!”
  • What branch of government is responsible for shellfish laws in the ocean kingdom? The judi-shell system!
  • Why are all of the universities on the coral reef so hard to get into? Because they are very shell-ective of who they accept.
  • If a turtle becomes paralyzed, what terminology is appropriate to describe their situation? Shell shocked!
  • Why do clams never donate their pearls to charitable causes? Because it’s not in their shell fish nature!
  • Where do crabs, lobsters, turtles, and snails keep their money these days? In a finan-shell institution!
  • Mr. Tortoise is quite a celebrity in the turtle world these days. He’s become an expert in artifi-shell intelligence research.
  • What do you get when you remove a snail’s shell? A sluggish situation.
  • What do you call shells that you find on a beach but nobody else can see? Confiden-shell findings.
  • How do snails deal with family gatherings and special occasions? They all get together and shellabrate.
  • How do snails communicate across the vastness of the ocean? Via shell phones!
  • Why was the snail so obsessed with the smartphone? Because it really liked taking shellfies!
  • What is the best protective equipment in the insect world? A shell-met!
  • What does a snail say when it answers its cellphone? Shello?
  • I purchased a bunch of new shells the other day, but ended up completely disappointed by their quality. Thankfully, I was able to make a par-shell return and got some better ones.
  • Where do turtles go to fill up when they run out of fuel on a long journey? They go to the shell station.
  • What method of communication do oysters use to stay in contact with their family and friends? The shell phone network.
  • Why is it so difficult to have a turtle as your best friend? Because it’s near impossible to get them to come out of their shell on any occasion.
  • What kinds of pictures are turtles known for taking the most? Shell-fies!
  • What makes a snail so tough? They carry an entire home on their backs!
  • What was the first thought that the snail had when it decided to ride on the back of a turtle instead of trying to cross the road on its own? This is top shell thinking!
  • What do snail shells and some shotgun shells have in common? They both contain slugs.
  • What did the clam say to the lobster when it demanded more room on the reef? Quit being so shell-fish!
  • What did the rock crab say to the turtle when he finally made it across the road to the beach? Shell yeah, bud!
  • What do snails have a lot of that most people wouldn’t think about? Mus-shells!
  • What did the fortune-telling turtle say to the crab when he came to him for a fortune-telling? Seek and you shell find the answer!
  • Where do turtles go to hide from danger? To the emergency shell-ter.
  • What is a turtle’s favorite instrument to play? The shell-o!
  • What did the snails do after they all survived the massive hail storm in one piece? They shell-ebrated their great fortune!
  • Two fictional heroes meet on a bridge in an alternate dimension from their own. One is a wise wizard used to leading wee folk on epic, continent-spanning journeys to save the world, the other is a plumber that has been stuck in a loop saving the same princess for decades. What does the wise wizard say to the plumber? You shell not pass!
  • Mr. Snail stopped by the used car lot on his way home from work the other day and inquired about a new ride he had been eyeing for weeks.
    The salesman told him he would get the information for Mr. Snail and then he would be right back.
    When he returned, the salesman had a completely different car on file than Mr. Snail had previously looked at. Turns out that the salesman was a total shell-out and had offloaded Mr. Snail’s new ride to a higher bidder.

 Shellabrate These With Your Friends!

Now that you’ve read all of these funny shell puns and shell jokes, it’s time to pick your favorites and share them with your friends and family. Everyone can appreciate a good shell pun, so don’t be shy!

And if you know any others that you think we’d like, send them our way!