41 Hairdresser Jokes & Puns That Are Surprisingly Funny

When you think about humorous topics, hairdresser jokes and hairdresser puns might not be the first on your mind. But believe us, they’re hilarious!

This list of puns, jokes, and one-liners about hairdressers will definitely make you chuckle. We’ve been repeating some of these for weeks now!

• My friend likes watching football matches when he’s at the hairdresser’s.
  The coverage is quite similar, but the highlights are better.
• She saw an advert saying, “Hairpieces for $5”.
  “That is a small price toupee,” she thought.
• How did the first man on the moon cut his hair?
  He eclipsed it.
• I used to hate my hair.
  Then it grew on me.
• Why was the hairdresser suicidal?
  He just wanted to dye.
• How do vampires do their hair if they have no reflection.
• I went into the barber’s shop yesterday and noticed he had dirty hands.
  He told me, “I cannot help it. No one has come for a shampoo today.”
• My friend inherited a comb after he went bald.
  He said he will never part with it.
• There’s a guy who put a rabbit on his head.
  He wanted a head of hare.
• My friend does not use keys.
  She lost her locks.
• I was invited to a hair-washing party.
  I have no excuse not to go.
• What is the name of a drug dealing hairdresser?
  El Chapo.
• Which drug do hairdressers like the most?
  Hairoin.
• The hairdresser was arrested at the quarry.
  He was grooming miners.
• Which other names are hairdressers called?
  Locksmith.
• The rabbit went to the hairdresser searching for his friend.
  Unfortunately, he left disappointed because there was no hare to be seen.
• You cannot have a hairdresser as a friend.
  They always talk about you behind your back.
• Barber: Would you like a haircut?
  Boy: No. I would like them all cut.
• A local hairdresser was jailed for 10 years because of drug dealing.
  I have been going to this guy for the longest time and I never knew he was a hairdresser.
• The Jamaican man stormed into the hairdressers and demanded a new style.
  The barber was dreading it.
• The hairdresser started to breed dogs.
  She called them shampoodles.
• What’s the name of a group of hairdressers having a party?
  A barber-cue.
• My son cannot decide whether he wants to be a story writer or a hairdresser.
  I guess he will have to flip a coin.
  Heads or Tales.
• Who was the hairdresser’s favorite music artist?
  Harry Styles.
• What is common between a hairdresser and a thief?
  They both cut locks.
• Hairdresser: How would you like your haircut?
  Me: Anything that will make me look good.
  Hairdresser: Oh, okay. No guarantees, but I’ll try my best.
• What would Conan be called if he was a hairdresser?
  Conan the Barberarian.
• Why was the quarterback called a hairdresser by his coach?
  Because he missed the split end on a curl.
• He told his hairdresser a joke.
  He dyed laughing.
• The man went into the barbershop to get his haircut.
  “You are going gray, sir,” says the barber.
  The man replies, “I am not surprised. Now hurry up, would you?”
• How did the hairdresser come first in the race?
  She took a shortcut.
• What’s the name of a good hair stylist?
  A shear delight.
• My friend has been searching for a decent barber ever since the hairdressers opened again.
  He’s looking for one that is a real cut above the rest.
• The hairdresser does not cut her hair any longer.
  She cuts it shorter instead.
• I visited the hairdressers only to find people getting their heads shaved off with giant pruning scissors.
  It was shear barberism.
• What’s the name of a bad hairdresser who happens to be expensive?
  A rip-off.
• What is the name of a hairdresser with a penchant for pedophilia and opera?
  The Barber of Saville.
• The hairdresser had me sign a legal document the other day.
  At first, I was confused, but then she told me it was for perms and conditions.
• My girlfriend came back home from the hairdresser’s. She asked me how she looked and was upset with the response I gave.
  
  She yelled, “So, you are saying I look like a bulldog!!”
  
  I smiled and told her, “No. I never said that. You heard me wrong.”
  
  “Oh, sorry,” she said as she laughed.
  
  I added, “What I said was, you look like a bald hog.”
• He walked into the hairdresser’s palace and took a seat.
  
  On the wall, a sign read: $70 for a haircut. He gulped.
  
  The woman assessed his hair and said, “How are you, sir? How much would you like off?”
  
  He replied, “About $55.”
• A lady walks into a salon.
  
  She is wearing huge headphones which she refuses to take off.
  
  The hairdresser pleads with her to remove them to be able to cut her hair easily, but the lady is adamant that the headphones cannot be removed.
  
  After a while, the lady falls asleep and the hairdresser decides to remove the headphones to make his work easier. Some minutes pass and the lady falls from the chair.
  
  Shocked, the hairdresser checks on her and finds there is no pulse. He stands there confused trying to figure out what has happened. Curious, he picks up the headphones and starts to listen to what the lady was listening to.
  
  All he hears is, “Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out.”

Cut Off A Few Of These And Share Them!

Now that you’ve gotten to see the very best hairdresser jokes and hairdresser puns out there, it’s your responsibility to start sharing some of these with your friends and family.

Hair is a topic that comes up often in conversation, so finding an opportunity to use something from the list above won’t be hard.

Have fun!