27 Funny Clock Puns & Jokes That Won’t Tick You Off

Clock on a blue wall

Funny clock puns and clock jokes never get old. They’re timeless! And on top of that, there’s always an opportunity to use them.

Give this list a read and let us know if any of them catch your eye! We’ve really enjoyed these, and think you will too.

  • I had to write an article about clocks the other day. It was very time-consuming.
  • What do you call a clockmaker who has lost his mind? Cuckoo!
  • What do you call something that is tall, made of wood and complains about all of the modern electronics today? A grandfather clock!
  • My wall clock stopped working a while back and I should really do something about it. It just keeps hanging around.
  • If a clock gets hungry again shortly after eating, what does it do? It goes back four seconds!
  • What do you call a clock in a library? Clockwise.
  • What did the clock merchant call the grandfather clock? The old-timer!
  • What do you get when a rooster and an alarm clock cross paths? An alarmed clucker!
  • How did the clock win the time race? It was fully wound.
  • “See you both in a minute,” the hour hand heard the second hand shout to it and the minute hand as it passed by on its rounds.
  • Why was the clock located in another dimension? Because it was given a time-out.
  • Why was the unruly clock kicked out of class and sent to see the principal? Because it was tocking over the teacher all the time.
  • What do you get when a clock tells another clock about current events? Second hand information.
  • Whatever you do, don’t surprise your boss with a clock. They would just be alarmed.
  • Which dog is the best time keeper to have around? A watchdog!
  • What did the boy clock say to the girl clock? You really ring my bell baby!
  • I tried to have a second serving of clock today because it was smaller and I was still hungry, but I couldn’t finish it. It was just too time-consuming.
  • In this world full of chaos and doubt, clock puns may just be the timely laughter we need right now.
  • Why did the duck have so many alarm clocks? Because it needed to be awake before the quack of dawn.
  • Why should you never tell secrets in the presence of a watch? Because time always tells the truth.
  • I was asked to name the best job I’ve had in a survey today and I had to put down the clock factory. I had the time of my life there!
  • My girlfriend was upset when I arrived late for our dinner, but I explained to her that I was delayed when a policeman arrested me.
    “Why, what did you do,” she exclaimed with a worried look on her face!
    “Nothing really. I dropped my new alarm clock coming out of the store and the officer witnessed it and arrested me. When I asked him what the charge was, he said it was for killing time!”
  • The young digital clock became so excited when it got the time right for the first time that it ran into its grandfather clock’s den and exclaimed “Look grandpa, I can do it with no hands!”
  • A scientist was rushing to complete a time experiment for a deadline when he ended up dropping his watch into a beaker of liquid, freezing time for a short while. Turns out he found a timely solution.
  • A boy and his cousin are playing together and the boy says to his cousin, “Hey did you know it’s possible to reflect time?”
    “You’re lying,” said the cousin.
    “It’s true,” replied the boy, “follow me and I’ll prove it.”
    The two head down the hall to the bathroom, where the boy takes off his watch and holds it up to the mirror.
  • My brother invited me over to his new apartment last night to hang out and give me the grand tour. I told him I was working late but could swing by after work.
    I get there at midnight and he very proudly gives me the tour, ending with the huge bedroom where he has a gong set up. I asked him what the gong was for, to which he replied it wasn’t a gong at all, but rather a talking clock.
    Puzzled, I asked him how that works and without hesitation, he grabbed the gong hammer and gave it a whack. Suddenly, from the other side of the wall we hear “Good lord man, keep it down! It’s after one in the morning!”

Time To Pass These Around!

Hopefully these funny clock puns and clock jokes gave you a good chuckle. We’ve been sharing some of these with our friends and the response has been great every time.

So you should do the same!

And let us know if you know any other great clock puns or jokes that we might want to consider adding. If we like what you send over we’ll include them!