Water puns can really be used anywhere. I mean, when aren’t you near water at some point?

Between drinking it regularly (or at least you should be), going for a swim, getting caught in the rain, and taking a shower you interact with it all the time!

Because of that, we knew that this list of water puns could get pretty lengthy. But we had no idea how funny they would be!

We hope you enjoy the list below. There’s a mix of good, bad (we had to), funny, and clever.

  • How do docks float? Pier pressure.
  • Why are oceans so detail-obsessed? They like to be pacific.
  • How would Watergate be done in Scotland? With scotch tape.
  • Why did the river start losing her memories? Because she is becoming sea nile.
  • The coach asked Roger if I could swim underwater. He said, “I wouldn’t hold your breath.”
  • Someone dug a hole in my yard and filled it with water. I think he meant well.
  • What weather do kings like most? Hail, of course!
  • Why does water never laugh at jokes? It doesn’t appreciate dry humor.
  • Why is a river an amazing roommate? They just go with the flow.
  • Why does the river never get lost? They find the right pathwave.
  • When a store sells water they call it a liquidation.
  • Why don’t you see oceans in school? They just can’t wade through the homework.
  • How do you determine an ant’s gender? Toss it in the water and it sinks, it’s a girl. If the ant floats, it’s a buoyant.
  • If Smart water were actually smart… Then why did it get bottled?
  • Yogi had a water, whiskey and tea drink everyday. He was a toddy bear.
  • What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once? England.
  • My friend couldn’t afford the water bill anymore. I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
  • If you see videos of running water on the internet that’s called a live stream.
  • How did the water introduce itself? The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
  • What do oceans say to each other? Nothing, they wave.
  • Every time I take a drink from a bottle, it keeps pouring back. Must be spring water.
  • That shore was a long comment.
  • What do the fish say when they run into the wall? Dam.
  • What doctor runs their clinic underwater? A sturgeon.
  • Why did the lake date the river? She had a bubbly personality.
  • Why did Snoop Dog need an umbrella? Fo’ Drizzle.
  • What goes up when rain comes down? Umbrellas.
  • Sea I will never stop the water puns.
The surface of the water with a sunset behind it
  • What do you call two straight days of rain in Seattle? The weekend.
  • Diving in shallow water could lead to jumping to the wrong conclusion.
  • Ending up in hot water may be the result of upsetting a cannibal.
  • Why do poets always write about the sea? They just can’t fathom her depths.
  • Archimedes’ approach to a water pump was screwed.
  • How did the pen get across water? Biro-ing.
  • A duck that won’t go in the water is a chicken.
  • Why did the ocean leave the party early? She was getting tide.
  • Consuming a whole bucket of water could turn you pail.
  • What would you call a guy throwing his laptop into the ocean? Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.
  • What did the sink say to the water faucet? You’re a real drip.
  • Why do sharks only swim in saltwater? Because pepper would make them sneeze.
  • H20 is water, but what is H204? It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
  • What did the beaver say when he slipped on some water? Dam it.
  • What do you call water that is good for you? Well water.
  • What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.
  • How do raindrops ask each other out? He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
  • Why are rivers always on time? She likes to stay current.
  • What do you call a light rain of candy? It sprinkles!
  • What can you do if you are the ocean? Watever you want.
  • RIP to Boiled Water. You will be sorely mist.
  • Why don’t oceans date ponds? They think they’re shallow.
  • What weather did the king prefer? Reign!
  • As raindrops say, two’s company, three’s a cloud.
  • I use boats to del-river my packages.
  • When the police boat fills with water it needs to be bailed out.
  • When you complete water slide construction you require a dry run.
  • The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside. You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
  • What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby? Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
  • How do you address 3 holes in the ground? Well, well, well.
  • Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby? It was a buoy!
  • Two reasons why you should never drink toilet water. Number one. And number two.
  • Water-skiing can be a drag sometimes.
  • Wanted to play water polo but the horses wouldn’t swim.
  • Is this real life or is this just fanta sea?
  • What do you call it when it rains money? Change in the weather.
  • Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube? He couldn’t stream the video.
  • Where do meteorologists like to drink after work? The closest ISOBAR.
  • When do you use ketchup in the rain? When it’s raining cats and hot dogs.
  • Where do water droplets go to settle arguments? The Supreme Quart.
  • What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation? A rain of terror.
  • How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it.
  • The choice between a water control project or the all-weather stadium was a no-win situation. Dammed if you do, doomed if you don’t.
  • What is worse than when it is raining buckets? Hailing taxis.

This list of funny water puns is probably the most versatile one we’ve put together so far! Even if you only remember a couple there’s a good chance they’ll pop into your head throughout the day (sorry).

If you think we missed any good ones we’re more than happy to add them (as long as they’re good). Just send them over and we’ll take a look eventually!