161 Salmon Puns & Jokes That Are Actually Funny

Salmon puns and jokes are oddly funny. There’s something about the fact that fish are humorous in general mixed with the various kinds of wordplay you can use from the word “salmon” that makes them great!

This list of funny puns and jokes about salmon will give you some great ones to bring up the next time you’re having dinner or are out on the river.

• I had to call off my engagement to a fish last year. They told me they were in love with salmon else.
• He was salmon-ed to court.
• I joined the army, but my salmon friend refused to join me. He said it was because he was a pacifish.
• Vegan salmon is just not as good as the real thing; it is just too artifishial.
• Vegan salmon has an arti-fish-ial taste.
• When I was touring the globe as a musician, salmon were always my favorite audience. In fact, they were my biggest fins.
• People say smoking will give you diseases. What they don’t know is that it cures salmon.
• I went to the shop to buy some smoked salmon, only to be disappointed when I was told that they had all quit.
• There was a really good salmon working for our company, but unfortunately they got poached.
• A salmon keeps its money in the river bank.
• Can you roe-tate the salmon photo?
• There are a few people who don’t like salmon, and I have realized the best hairstyle for them: dreadlox.
• You should never mix salmon with ice cream, or you might end up with salmonilla.
• Salmon are great musicians; they’re always humming catchy tunes.
• A was waiting in the queue for fish and chips when a man walked in with a salmon under his arm. He asked “Do you do fishcakes?” He was told no, and was disappointed as apparently it was the salmon’s birthday.
• Salmon are always great workers because they’re so ef-fish-ient.
• What does salmon Santa Claus say? Coho-ho.
• I went to a gig put on by a bunch of salmon the other day. The music was just off the scale.
• My uncle’s salmon business was shut down. I heard he was doing fishy business.
• The salmon egg is g-roe-ing.
• What do romantic fish sing to each other? Salmon-chanted evening.
• I love watching bloo-parr-s.
• Why don’t salmon watch cable television? They prefer streams.
• Most salmon species spawn between September and December. It’s January, so I’m late. Chum-til next time.
• The 2015 U.S. Open was played at Chum-bers Bay.
• I hope to visit the Salmon Islands one day.
• The salmon was accused of murder, but he was released when it turned out to be a fishious rumor.
• The upset salmon smolt-ered with disbelief.
• It’s 420 time to start smoking. The salmon for tonight’s dinner.
• You’ll probably escape being arrested if you steal a salmon, as long as the police don’t find any fishical evidence.
• Two clever salmon were arguing about the origin of a certain word. It was definitely salm-antics.
• A salmon’s pick-up line starts with, “Hey gill, what’s up?”
• My friend is making a lot of money by taking pictures of salmon dressed in human clothes. It’s like shooting fish in apparel.
• There is a festival celebrating salmon spawn in my town every year. Of course, they have ohfishal spawnsors.
• You should never really trust a baby salmon. They’re always a little fishy.
• I’m waiting for your re-spawn-se.
• I feel like I’m a parr-t of something bigger.
• Salmon is one of the few members of American society that doesn’t need medical insurance. They always get cured for free.
• Where’s the parr-ty?
• Salmon make great business partners. Their ability to read the markets is off the scale.
• You’re the apple of my sockeye.
• LPT: An easy way to make money is to take pictures of salmon dressed in a formal outfit. It’s like shooting fish in apparel.
• A salmon wearing a suit and glasses is so-fish-ticated.
• A company run by a salmon was investigated recently. It was believed that they were involved in some fishy business.
• I’ll see you in the m-horning.
• I keep a folder on fish that swim upstream and can give you a disease if not cooked properly. The Salmon Manila
• It’s time to coho-me.
• I spawn around in circles.
• Our local fish market ranks their catches on how rare they are. I noticed today that they had rare salmon. It definitely isn’t common plaice!
• If a salmon needs energy, it drinks nit-roe cold brew coffee.
• Parr-don me.
• A salmon is swimming up a river. A salmon is swimming up a river. It hits a wall. Dam.
• I always wondered what it was like to be a fish, so I asked my friend to tell me. They replied, “Alaska salmon.”
• I am always surprised when I see a salmon wearing a suit and a tie; they look so sopfishticated.
• These are the building b-lox.
• If smoking is so bad for you How come it cures salmon?
• I need salmon like you.
• The salmon that represents them all is the of-fish-ial salmon.
• The salmon broke up with the crab because he was too shellfish.
• You’re my special salmon.
• What is it called when you refuse to implicate your salmon in a crime? Pleading the fish.
• The salmon eggs are so small. I need a mic-roe-scope to see them.
• There’s a new salmon-flavored Nutella. It’s called Salmonella.
• Leave it for salmon else.
• Did you hear about the salmon who was in a plane crash? He was the sole survivor. At least that was somefin.
• Salmon make the best teachers. They can really school you.
• What happens when you put Nutella on salmon? You got salmonella
• To prevent spawning issues, salmon need to be p-roe-active.
• The salmon had to admit something. It started by saying, “There’s some-fin I need to tell you.”
• A salmon is swimming up a river and hits a wall. Dam.
• Do you know what it’s like to be a fish? I don’t, but Alaska Salmon.
• Did salmon say it’s your birthday?
• I need to order salmon-ila envelopes.
• I’ve heard people say that smoking will give me diseases. But what they don’t know is that it cures salmon!
• Gill-ty as charged.
• Alevins one of the famous chipmunks.
• Be careful. Eating too much salmon can gill you.
• Salmon makes a terrible musical instrument. Apparently you can’t tune a fish.
• What’s the hardest part about smoking a salmon? Keeping it lit!
• How long did it take the fish to go to the store? Salmon or eight minutes.
• Can you coho-ver there?
• A salmon that can fly needs to be a-roe-dynamic.
• Chum-bray shirts are my favorite.
• Smoking is bad for you. But, it cures salmon.
• My salmon friend was sick so I offered to take her to see my doctor. She refused, and said she would visit her own sturgeon.
• We had to stage an intervention for a fish who was getting out of hand. Well, salmon had to say it.
• Hahahaha…pew pew pew…haha…*begins sobbing*
• A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing He said he liked shooting fish in apparel
• Salmon don’t watch cable TV because they prefer streams.
• We won the chum-pionships.
• He injured his roe-tator cuff.
• The easiest way to make money is to take pictures of salmon dressed in human clothes. It’s like shooting fish in apparel.
• Coho-ver me with a blanket. I’m cold.
• If you’re looking for easy money, why not try taking pictures of salmon dressed in human clothes? It’s like shooting fish in apparel.
• Fish Cakes A guy walks into a bar with a Salmon under his arm and says, “Do you sell fish cakes here?” Bartender: No we don’t. Guy: That’s a shame… It’s his birthday.
• My favorite running shoes brand is Salmon.
• Salmon make great business partners. Their ability to read the markets is off the scale.
• I have the keys to the lox.
• People say smoking can cause diseases But then how does it cure salmon?
• The salmon arrived with its coho-rts.
• What do you get when you put nutella on salmon? You get salmonella.
• Salmon give a lot more to charity than oysters do. In fact, most people consider oysters to be completely shellfish.
• The best way to farm salmon is with lox of love.
• Everybody tells you that smoking causes disease what they don’t tell you is that it cures salmon
• There’s salmon for everyone.
• Salmon can be a bit rude when they make a mistake. You can hear them shouting “Dam!” from miles away.
• My friend was telling me about a salmon that could break into safes… Turned out to be a lox myth.
• Everyone tells you that smoking will kill you What they don’t tell you is that it cures salmon
• I redd a book about the nests a female salmon digs.
• Where does a salmon go to deposit a check? To the river bank!
• Don’t be a-fry-d.
• Roe, roe, roe your boat.
• There used to be a show on Nickelodeon called Salmon Cat.
• Did you hear that? I think salmon’s here.
• We only serve one type of salmon here. You can’t pink and choose.
• I got a new car. It’s a Range Roe-ver.
• The salmon that focuses is p-roe-ductive.
• How do salmon keep their homes secure? They use lox, of course.
• You’re such a chum.
• Smoking is a scientific wonder! It kills people, but cures salmon.
• You’re a chum-p.
• The hipster salmon didn’t make it because it didn’t use the main stream.
• Who do you call when you can’t get your smoked salmon out of the fridge? The lox smith.
• If you cross a fish with an amphibian, you get a salmon-der.
• A salmon’s favorite day is Fry-day.
• My buddy was talking about his new hobby of photographing salmon in different outfits. Apparently it’s just like shooting fish in apparel.
• A salmon walks into a vegetarian restaurant And the waiter says, Sorry, we don’t serve fish.
• I’m not sure I believe all this stuff about genetically modified food being bad for you… I feel fine and I just had a really tasty leg of salmon…
• Salmon are great workers to have at any company. They really are e-fish-ient.
• Did you hear about the fight that broke out in the salmon restaurant? It was terrible. There were battered fish everywhere.
• I want to get better at smolt-alk.
• I often wonder why smoking is so bad for human health, when it cures salmon…
• Don’t trust a small salmon, it’s a little fishy.
• I ordered some salmon roe at my local fish restaurant the other day. It was a spawn-taneous decision.
• If salmon could have a hairstyle, it would be dread-lox.
• Some fish, salmon included, never do well at school. They always stay below the surface.
• If you find yourself up the creek without a paddle, make sure you take a few salmon eggs with you. That way, you can roe your way out of trouble.
• You’re making great p-roe-gress.
• It can be a struggle to open a packet of smoked salmon. Apparently, you need a key for the lox.
• Oh, that’s just salmon-tics.
• Call the lox-smith.
• My grandmother, Eleanor, gave me a lot of seafood recipes to try out on my friends. Sadly, no one wants to try my Salmon Ella.
• The salmon became p-roe-minent.
• I met a hipster salmon the other day. He told me that swimming upstream was just too mainstream.
• Now, you’re salmon I used to know.
• I got pretty sick after eating some raw salmon It’s a bad case of chickenella.
• Watching salmon swimming upriver to spawn is what I really call a live stream.
• Tracking efficiency in dogs rises 300% when fed diets of salmon. Give it a fish an’ see
• What do you call a salmon that’s wearing a tie? Sofishticated
• Salmon need the best data plan when they get their internet. This is because they just can’t stop streaming.
• Have you ever tried mixing salmon with Nutella? Don’t. You’ll get salmonella.
• People always say smoking will give you diseases… Then how come People use it to cure salmon
• My dad and I were arguing about the way that salmon move. I decided to end the discussion because I didn’t want to fight over salmon ticks.
• They say smoking causes cancer But it cures salmon
• What do you call it when a salmon accidentally fertilizes his sisters eggs? Roe Tide
• I was teasing my salmon friend the other day, but he absolutely refused to rise to the bait.
• Why did the hipster salmon not get to breed? He didn’t use the main stream
• A normal bank is not the place where salmon go to pay in cheques. They tend to use the river bank.
• How do salmon listen to music? They stream it!
• What do you call a salmon that can produce twice as many eggs twice as quickly and normal? A-fish-in-sea
• Alevins the number before twelve.

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