33 Funny Onion Puns & Jokes That Have Many Layers

A cut onion

Funny onion puns and onion jokes have been around for quite a while. These tasty vegetables have been intriguing for years mostly due to their ability to make us cry while we cut them.

But on top of that, you have the layered aspect that is also referenced quite a bit. Naturally, that means plenty of onion puns and jokes were created as a result.

Check out this list of our favorites and let us know what you think!

  • Onions live underground because they are known to have many lairs. 
  • I always answer when the Onion rings call.
  • None of the other veggies could figure out why they were always so emotional around the onion that they started to cry.
  • When my onions cannot hold water correctly, I always call them leeks.
  • I made an onion dish for a friend’s potluck once, but I won’t ever do it again. It calls for a shallot of onions.
  • Do you know anything small, white, rather stinky, and giggles a lot? I do! A tickled onion.
  • Have you heard that the BeeGees were onion lovers? They say it all in the song “CHives Talking.”
  • Be careful of an onion that burps at the wrong time, it releases tear gas.
  • I heard something calling to me in a very faint voice when I was making a salad the other day. I thought it was an onion whispering but realized it was just a little hoarse radish.
  • I saw an onion once with an allergic reaction. I knew because it had broken out in chives. 
  • Onions make spectacular gymnasts, especially in the onion rings event.
  • Did you know that my wallet and an onion are very similar? They both cry when I go to open them.
  • Sometimes, when an onion gets electrocuted, people will start referring to it as an anion.
  • The horse that the onion knight is riding is my favorite. It’s because they ride a-scallion.
  • When I went to see the Doctor about the onion stuck in my nose, he told me I should eat more sensibly. 
  • When they asked him why he had pushed over the bowl of chili, he said it was because he had been asked to check the balance of onion in it.
  • There is a group of onions that are small, yellow, and naughty. They also cater to evil geniuses. They’re the minonions!
  • If you make sure not to form any emotional bonds with them, then onions won’t make you cry.
  • I have an onion friend who likes to act ghetto. We call him the rapscallion when he does.
  • Only the most eco-friendly and environmentally conscious onions are lucky enough to be named green onions.
  • An onion with the ability to carry electromagnetic waves is called a photoninon.
  • The fanciest onion I have ever seen was, by far, the cocktail onion.
  • My pogo stick is made from a spring onion.
  • Did you know that every 3.14 onions are filled with an opinion?
  • I love a sweet onion. I usually just call them caramelized though.
  • Today I found out the truth about red onions. They are all communists.
  • When the onion gets what is coming to it, you know that he is regretting the decisions that led him to get Karma-lized.
  • I loved the onion who always wanted to take me out for the most romantic dates and adventures. I finally figured out why…it was the French onion.
  • I found that I am a lot like an onion, annoying outside. Then, you peel back the layers and you just find more and more of the same and start to cry.
  • In the hospital I asked the nurse if she had anything for my liver and she simply handed me a bag of onions.
  • Did you know that the fun cousin of the onion is visiting?  He’s the funinon!
  • When I want to have a drink after a long week, I go where the onions go, the salad bar.
  • Did you ever read a book in high school about the onion that turns to a spider and spins encouraging webs promoting a pig? It’s called Shallot’s Web.

What Did You Think?

We hope you had a good time reading this list of funny onion puns and onion jokes. These are perfect for bringing a little humor into the kitchen (or bedroom, we’re not judging) and will certainly get a smile out of whoever you tell them to!

If you’re sitting on any other good onion puns or jokes that we haven’t heard yet, we’d love it if you sent them our way. We always like hearing from our readers!