57 Clam Puns & Jokes That Are Actually Funny

Three clams that make you think of clam puns and jokes

There are an interesting number of funny clam puns and clam jokes out there. We’re really not sure what to make of that.

But regardless, these are definitely worth your time! Check out this list to see what we mean.

  • I tripped over a clam yesterday, and now I’m so sore. I think I pulled my mussel.
  • Why wouldn’t the inspector approve the clam’s new shell plans? Because they weren’t a fish-shell.
  • Why is it so easy for a clam to play instruments? They have great mussel memory.
  • Why did the man stop searching for clams on the beach? He fell and pulled a mussel.
  • Why do clams never share their pearls? They are really shellfish.
  • What did the clam say to his wife? You make me feel so spe-shell.
  • What do you call a clam taking a picture of itself? A shellfie.
  • What song do clams play at their birthday party? Shell-ebrate good times.
  • Where do clams do most of their shopping? At the local mall-usk.
  • What is a clam’s favorite game to play? Hide and sea-k.
  • What happened to the clam after his divorce? He had to pay abalone.
  • Why do clams struggle to make friends? It takes a lot for them to open up.
  • Did you hear about the clam that can play the violin? He has excellent mussel memory.
  • What happens when a mollusk gets afraid? They start to clam up.
  • What does a mollusk do if they lose its luggage? Visit the clams department.
  • What happened to the clam after its nightmare? It was shell shocked.
  • What is a clam’s favorite musical artist? Pearl Jam.
  • Why did the clam get divorced? He was too shellfish.
  • What type of beach do clams love to visit? Mussel beach.
  • Did you hear what the pirate named his new pet clam? Michelle.
  • Have you heard about the clam who committed murder? They said it was for shellfish reasons.
  • Why did the mollusk receive a traffic ticket? He was parked in a clam-ping zone.
  • How did the clam travel across the ocean? A taxi crab.
  • What did the clam yell when he was attacked? Kelp me!
  • What should you tell seafood during an emergency? Don’t panic! Keep clam.
  • Why do clams struggle to win court cases? They don’t have a leg to stand on.
  • What did the clam do on his birthday? Shellebrated.
  • Who is the richest clam in the sea? Elon Mollusk.
  • I asked my clam friends to help me move, but all they did was sit around. They are so shellfish sometimes. 
  • What did the clam plead in his court case? Not gill-ty.
  • What did the clam say after waking up from his dream? Is this real life, or is this fantasea?
  • What happened to the mollusk watching a scary movie? He got all clammed up.
  • How do clams have fun with their friends? They throw a party to shellebrate.
  • What do clams need to stay healthy? Vitamin sea. 
  • Where does a clam go when he runs out of gas? A Shell station.
  • How does a clam get in touch with his friends? Calls them on a shell phone.
  • What do you call a clam that won’t share his toys? Shellfish. 
  • What is a mollusk’s favorite band? Wu-Tang Clam.
  • What did the mollusk say to his kids? Don’t clam the door!
  • What’s the coolest type of shellfish? A razor clam.
  • Where do clams love to shop? The mall-usk.
  • Do you hear the new clam pun? It’s absolutely shell-arious.
  • Why do clams love smartphones? They can take a lot of shelfies.
  • What does a clam need when riding a bike? A shell-met.
  • What does a clam say when it answers the telephone? Shello?
  • Why did the clam have to go home early? He pulled a mussel.
  • What does a clam say during a motivational speech? The world is your oyster!
  • What did the clam say before riding a rollercoaster? I’ll see you on the oyster side.
  • What did the mollusk say when he woke up sick? I just feel a little clammy today.
  • Why did they have a clam dinner at the school? For the soup-erintendant.
  • What did the clam say when he dropped all his groceries? Aww, shucks.
  • Why did the clam get the modeling job? He had big mussels.
  • Where do clams go if they need to borrow money? The prawn broker.

Don’t Be Closed Off. Share These!

We hope these clam puns and clam jokes did the trick and brought you some joy. They can be a bit silly, but that’s part of the fun!

If you have any others that you’d like to share with us, send them our way. We’re always on the lookout for new ones.