30 Funny Hammer Jokes & Puns That Are Total Bangers

A hammer

There are some great hammer jokes and hammer puns out there. Hammering is an action that everyone can identify with, and it’s easy to use that for the sake of a little humor.

Take a look at the hammer jokes and puns we’ve collected below and let us know what you think!

  • What is the favorite toothpaste among all the tools? Arm and Hammer!
  • Why do frogs dislike hammers so much? Because they are a toad’s tool!
  • What is one of the most groundbreaking inventions of all time? The jackhammer!
  • What happens when the god of thunder drops his hammer? He gets a Thor foot.
  • What do you call a magical hammer? An abnor-mallet!
  • Why does the military not allow hammers to be carried on missions? Because missions are not drills!
  • I was working on an investigative report regarding hammers for work this month. Talk about a hard-hitting topic.
  • How do you make a cookie crumble pie crust? With a hammer!
  • What do you call a song about hammers? An absolute banger.
  • I never understood how a hammer could be so susceptible to the effects of gravity, and then it hit me.
  • What was the reason for Captain America not picking up Mjolnir sooner? He really didn’t want to steal Thor’s thunder.
  • What is the most efficient method for permanently deleting files on a laptop? Squash the laptop with a hammer. That will ensure that the files are permanently Dell-eted!
  • What do you get when you buy a hammer on the first day of the fourth month? An April tool!
  • Why did the hammer constantly feel sick? He kept hitting his head.
  • How does a handyman prepare dinner? He bangs it out with a hammer and cooks it over an open flame.
  • Why is the hammer considered to be the dumbest of all the tools? Because it is not the sharpest tool in the box.
  • What do you get when you repeatedly hit an avocado with a hammer? Gu-whack-a-mole!
  • How did the hammer get his point across to the rest of the tools? He drove the nail point through the wall and out the other side.
  • What did the farmer say when he saw a sleepy cow swinging a hammer around in the barn? “I guess that cow really wants to hit the hay!”
  • Why was the hammer shunned by the other tools in the shed? Because he was very blunt.
  • What do construction workers and volleyball players have in common? They really like to hammer the spikes.
  • I saw a dog do the impossible today. It found Thor’s hammer in a field and, to my surprise, grabbed the hammer in its mouth and lifted it with ease. That dog must be a Labrathor!
  • My friend had yet to meet a few of my favorite tools, so I introduced him to the chisel, the hammer, and the saw. He already knew the drill though.
  • The guy at the hardware store is great with handyman project questions. He really hit the nail on the head when he hammered out the answer for me.
  • I was repairing the fence around our yard today and ran out of nails on the last few sections, so I asked my wife if she could bring another twenty nails or so. She gave me a serious look and said “I’ve got twenty nails, my love, but I would much prefer them to remain un-hammered.”
  • I was not able to find the hammers, bricks and tiles at the shop today that I need for a project. I decided to ask one of the lads that was restocking the shelves where I could find them. He said that they were under construction, to which I replied “When will they be finished?”
  • When I was a kid I got hit in the eye with a hammer. I’ve been afraid of them ever since. I guess you could say the experience had a lasting impact on my outlook on life.
  • Two steaks are hanging out on the kitchen counter when they spot a spiky hammer across from them.
    The ribeye says to the t-bone “what is that for?”
    “Beats me,” replied the t-bone.
  • I went to work with my dad the other day to learn more about carpentry. At the end of the day, I asked him how I was doing with my apprenticeship, to which he replied, “You are doing great with measuring and cutting but your hammering skills are like lightning, you never strike the same spot twice.”
  • I bought a new drill at the hardware store today and it came with a hammer function button. Curious as to what it was, I loaded a battery pack into the drill and hit the button. Now it just keeps shouting “You can’t touch this” and I can’t get it to stop.

Which Ones Are Your Favorites?

We hope you enjoyed reading this list of funny hammer jokes and hammer puns as we did making it. There are definitely a few on here that we’ve been repeating a little too often!

Oh, and you know our policy! If you send over some good hammer jokes and puns that we like, we’ll add them to the list.