Funny ham puns and ham jokes have a special place in our hearts. They’re entertaining, silly, and never get old!
Because of that, we had a great time putting this list together. Give these a read and let us know what you think.
- What city do the superhero pigs like to hang out in? Got-ham City!
- What comes from the nose of pigs? Ham boogers.
- What do you call an upset arctic pig? A ham brr grr.
- What did the pig say in his controversial speech to the public? Accept it, I ham what I ham!
- How do pig couples show affection when walking around town? They hold hams.
- What tool do construction swine use to build their homes with? A sledge ham-mer.
- Where do most of the famous pigs come from? Ham-burg.
- What is the favorite holiday destination for pigs? The Hamptons!
- What do pigs use to contact their friends while driving delivery trucks? A ham radio!
- What is the name of the condition for someone who constantly feels a little bit like a swine? Ham-ish!
- What do you call it when you can’t remember where you stored your bacon? Hamnesia!
- What do pigs use to tie things together? A Hamstring!
- What shopping network do pigs use to get the best deals? Hamazon!
- What is different about a hot sweet potato and flying pigs? The first is a heated yam and the second is just a yeeted ham.
- Why are pigs not allowed to play tug of war with their friends? Because they usually end up as pulled pork.
- What do you call a pig that does not boast about all of his exploits? Hamble.
- What social media network do all the pigs use to keep in touch from farm to farm? Instaham!
- What do you call a supermarket that refuses to put pork products on sale? No pig deal.
- What do you call a pig doing martial arts? A pork chop!
- What did the referee say to the pig that kept ending up in the penalty box during the hockey game? “Why are you swine always bacon all the rules?”
- Who is the smartest hog in all the world? That would be Mr Ein-swine!
- Why are analogies so similar to ham sandwiches? Because they are so easy to make, like this one right now.
- What do you call a small settlement filled with nothing but pigs? A hamlet!
- What do you get when you cover a shrub in bacon? A hambush!
- When the pig won the beauty contest, he was presented with a trophy. Can you guess what the presenter said? That sure is one ham-some pig!
- I was excited to greet the day today, but after my coffee and bacon, I just don’t have the same hambition that I did when I first woke up.
- Why are pigs such good writers? Because they are hambidextrous!
- What self-defense course are pigs taught in the military? Ham to ham combat.
- If a pig runs into a chicken on the farm, what do you call it? A ham and egger!
- Where do prehistoric pigs hang out? At the Jurassic Pork.
- I helped a pig get over its illness this week. It felt so good to make cured ham.
- Pigs have multiple names for hand cleaner, but my two favorites are ham sanitizer and hogwash.
- Why shouldn’t you ever open any email containing the words ground pork or processed ham in the title? Because they are spam emails.
- The deli I go to for lunch every day was fresh out of white and whole wheat bread for my usual ham sandwich today. My whole lunch went a-rye.
- What did the police say to the thief at the butcher shop when they surrounded the place? Come out with your hams up!
- When the older pigs grow out of their clothes and give them to the little pigs, they refer to it as ham me downs.
- My cousin was in the Hogs of War battalion during the great bacon war and suffered a nasty wound that took his arm. He’s now the public speaker for the Hamputee’s Awareness Organization.
- I was reading through the breakfast menu at the diner this morning when I came across a little quote under the bacon and eggs listing that was crossed out that said “Why don’t we serve ham and eggs? Because it is a day’s work for the chickens and a lifetime of commitment for the pigs.”
Which Are Your Favorites?
Now that you’ve seen these funny ham puns and ham jokes, start sharing your favorite ones with your friends. Remember, a good joke is best when shared!
If you don’t know our policy, here it is:
If you’re one of the lucky few who knows some other good puns and jokes about ham, we’d love to hear from you. Any you share we’ll consider adding to the list above!
