37+ Hacker Jokes & Puns That Are Actually Funny

A hacker taking a break and reading some jokes and puns on his computer

Hacker jokes and hacker puns are becoming more and more common, because computers aren’t going anywhere. Whether they’re in movies or real life, everyone knows about hackers these days.

This list of funny hacker jokes and puns will help you find some humor the next time one of these nerds tries to gain access to your computer or social media accounts.

  • What is the method a hacker vampire uses to kill its victims? It’s called a kill-o-byte.
  • It was simple to figure out Forrest Gump’s password. 1forrest1
  • A new investigation reveals that George Washington didn’t cut down the cherry tree. It was actually brought down by underground hackers.
  • A hacker cracked into my bank account and felt so bad they ended up depositing $100.
  • In order to stop potential hackers, I changed my password to something difficult to crack: ToughBrazilNut242.
  • A hacker obtained access to my financial records and set up a Go Fund Me for me.
  • As hacker Jesus once said, “Give a man a fish, and he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to phish, and he’ll end up stealing your bank password.”
  • Where do Russian hackers go after they’ve been captured? They are shipped to Cyberia.
  • What does it take to flirt with another hacker? “I’ll show you yours if you show me mine.”
  • How did the computer hackers escape undetected? I believe they simply ransomware.
  • What do seasoned chemists and young hackers share? Inspect element.
  • What do you call a hacker who follows the law from Pennsylvania? A penn tester.
  • A hacker tried to intimidate me by telling me my whole name and IP address, but the joke is on him because I already knew both of those things!
  • The best way to find the ‘World’s Greatest Hacker’ is by creating an online poll. Just sit back and let the magic happen!
  • What makes it simple to hack an excavated pyramid? The fact it’s encrypted!
  • The most upsetting thing about hackers stealing your password is having to change your pet’s name.
  • I recently attended a support group for recovering hackers. The group is named Anonymous Anonymous.
  • I was trying to catch a hacker, but he escaped. I’m guessing he’s a ransomware criminal.
  • Why would hackers report their illegal income to the IRS? They already know how the system reacts to sin tax errors.
  • A friend of mine recently lost his job as a hacker. I reminded him that there is plenty more fish in the C:
  • My friend works as an expert hacker. His job is a lumberjack!
  • Why do people consider Winnie the Pooh the worst hacker? Because he’s always falling for honeypots!
  • “Officer, where did the hacker go?” “I don’t know. He used the backdoor and ransomware to flee.”
  • Our system has been taken over by hackers, who refuse to return access to our data until we compliment them on their appearance. I guess you could call it a handsomeware attack.
  • What is the link between a hacker and a hooligan? They both love breaking windows.
  • Why do hackers use hydroponics to grow their plants? To gain root access.
  • What did the hacker do when he discovered the shop’s computer unguarded? He made a beeline for the Cache Register.
  • What is a computer criminal’s favorite snack? Cheese and hackers.
  • What brand of sportswear do hackers love? A D-DOS.
  • Who is the most famous hacker in all of history? Lizzie Borden.
  • What will you find on a hacker’s gravestone? Just “R” because the IP is well hidden.
  • What happens to German hackers if they’re caught using cheats? They get an autobahn.
  • To the hacker who broke into my email account, I will find out who you are. (Edit: no, I’m sure you won’t)
  • What do you call a religious hacker that reveals your personal information? Orthodoxxer.
  • A hacker contacted me and claimed to have hacked into my computer. I responded, “Show me proof,” and he provided the username and password for my email account, bank account, and social media accounts. Honestly, that was the simplest “Forgot Password” procedure I’ve ever done.

Time To Share These!

Now that you know all of the best hacker jokes and hacker puns, it’s time to start sharing these with your friends and family. Finding a chance to bring these up will be easy, because people are on their computer or phone pretty much all day.

And if you happen to be aware of any other funny hacker jokes or puns, send them to us (legitimately). We’ll consider adding any that we like.