45+ Funny Chess Puns & Jokes That You Need To See

Chess is a timeless game that has been around for ages. But when many people think of it, they think of a stuffy (and slightly boring) game.

But that’s not true.

In fact, there are a ton of funny chess puns and jokes out there that show the lighter side of this distinguished game. We were a bit taken aback by how much we laughed at them!

Check mate.

We had a lot of fun putting this list together, and we hope you enjoy reading it! Chess puns and chess jokes might be a bit niche, but you’ll be happy you have one handy when the time comes.

• I had lunch with a chess master in a diner that still used checked tablecloths. It took her three hours to pass me the catsup.
• I went out to dinner with a check champion the other night. It took her 20 minutes to pass the salt and pepper.
• I recently got a job working at a 24 hour factory. It’s like a human chess game. I have to work knights this week.  
• There is a new game that combines cheese, battleship, and connect four. The game is called rook, line, and sinker.
• Someone asked me how I was going to pay for my fancy new chess board. I replied, “With a check, mate”
• A Slovak chess player was looking for someone to play with. He found the perfect partner when he paired up with a Czech mate. 
• I played my friend in a game of chess. She did not think that she could win but she wanted to check anyway.
• I have a pen pal that lives in Prague. She is my Czech mate. 
• What does a pirate say when he wins a game of chess? Check matey. 
• Why do players from Australia hate moldy bread? They do not like the stale mate.
• What part of the brain is used to play chess? The pons.
• What song did Bob Seger write about the game of chess? How the knight moves.
• I think I lost my king after the last chess game. I will need to check.
• When traveling with the horse in chess you always need to take the L train.
• What is a chess player’s favorite drink? A pawn cocktail.
• Chess players are surprisingly good at boxing. They pack a strong right rook.
• I wanted to learn more about the history behind chess. Turns out it has a checkered past.
• This was actually a movie that was made about playing cheese. It’s called the Dark Knight Rises.
• Why is a chess player good at dancing? He has some good moves.
• I beat the local chess champion in less than five moves. Mu karate lessons finally came in handy.
• It seems like British chess players always win the game. Why is this? The Queen never dies.
• What is a group of chess nerds called when they’re bragging about their chess skills in a hotel lobby? Chess nuts roasting on an open fryer. 
• I played chess with a lumberjack and he beat me at the game. Well plaid.
• I was playing chess with my friend and she asked if we want to make things interesting. We stopped playing and went to the movies. 
• I was asked if my high school had a local chess club. I said let me check mate.
• How come cows do not play a game of chess? They cannot make any mooooooves.
• When I first started playing the game of chess I tried to move my Queen first. That was a rookie mistake.
• A man in Africa was recently arrested for shooting at a huge chess set. Those big game hunters are nothing but trouble.
• My friend wanted to play chess and asked me if I had all of the pieces for the game. I told him I would have to check, mate.
• Why was the chess professional getting worried when she was finishing her meal at the restaurant? The waitress asked if she wanted the check.
• A wife came home and found her husband staring at his chess set. There was an egg on the other side of the board. She asked him what he was doing. He said that he was making a cake and the recipe said he needed to use a beaten egg. She asked him why he was playing a game of chess. He said the eggs keep on winning.
• Why did a lonely Czechoslovakian player go on a dating site? He wanted a Czech mate.  
• How come chess players have many kids? They mate often.
• Where is the worst place you can purchase a chess set? The pawn shop.
• I got my daughter a chess board for her birthday. She is gifted.
• I recently saw an old friend again. He happens to be a chess champion. I asked him how he was doing. All I did was check on the mate.
• Why is it confusing to eat in a restaurant in Australia for a chess player?
• Customer: Check mate Waiter: Checkmate? Customer: Can I have the check mate?
• Why did Michel Jackson say to his opponent in chess? It doesn’t matter if you’re black or white 
• What is a chess player’s favorite drink? A pawn cocktail.
• I like the rook out of all the chess pieces. It is straightforward.
• I had a bird challenge me to a game of chess once. I told him that Toucan play at that.
• How do you beat a Slav at chess? You find them a Czech mate.

Make A Move And Share These!

As you can see, there are a lot of funny chess puns and chess jokes out there. More than we thought were possible.

Sure, a lot of them rely on using “mate” as the punchline, but that’s ok.

If you know any others that we didn’t include in the list above, feel free to send them our way. It might take us a while to check our email (actually, we guarantee that it will) but we’ll see it eventually!

If your suggestions are good, we’ll make sure to add them.