29 T-Shirt Jokes & Puns You’ll Want To Try On

A t-shirt on the ground

One of the great things about t-shirt jokes and t-shirt puns is that you can bring them up whenever you want. Everyone wears shirts!

Give this list a read and let us know if you like any in particular. There are a few that we’ve been constantly saying since we made this!

  • I listed the Hulk shirt for sale on eBay with the condition “regular wear and tear.”
  • A shirt burglar was hitting all sorts of stores in the area. We know that he’s going by order of size, and he’s currently still at large.
  • I told my friend I was tired of waiting while they changed their shirt every hour. My friend said they would change it for me.
  • I just learned that T-shirt actually stands for Tyrannosaurus shirt. It is because T-shirts have such small arms.
  • I hate going to the courthouse because I always wear an ironed shirt, and it never fails to set off the metal detector.
  • The Jedi knights never take off their shirts when they greet each other. Every Jedi knows that only the Sith are willing to deal in ab solutes.
  • Did you know that you can help get better phone service by putting a shirt and shoes on the phone?
  • I have heard that burglars only wear striped shirts because they don’t want to be spotted. 
  • Farmers wear special shirts. It is a crop top.
  • I have a hard time with the clothes in my closet. I try to organize them constantly, and I always end up incredibly frustrated. I am thinking I might need to get myself some hangar management.
  • I have always found it ironic that I cannot press my work shirts well.
  • The people at Coffee Club wouldn’t let me stay the day that I showed up wearing a tea shirt.
  • I wanted to wear my camouflage shirt today but finally gave up because I couldn’t find it.
  • I can tell when someone has an iron deficiency because they always have wrinkled shirts.
  • My mom bought me a Che Guevara shirt for Christmas because I told her I wanted something Cuban. When she asked if it was the right gift, I told her about clothes, but no cigars.
  • I was misguided to believe that super-tight shirts would look great on me. I was wrong, and I just couldn’t pull it off. 
  • I had to remove my shirt with ten buttons because I could only fascinate.
  • If you give a man a shirt, he will always wear it once, but if you tell him he looks good in it, he will be wearing it for a lifetime.
  • My coworker told me the other day that the shirt I was wearing was the same one they had thought about wearing. I was incredibly relieved as finding them in my closet would have been creepy.
  • I bought my friend a shirt for his birthday that said: “I’m a nudist” on the front, but I have yet to see him wearing it.
  • When I get into an argument with my husband, and he’s winning, I always know how to turn the argument in my favor. I just take off my shirt because he can’t help but get caught in the boobie trap.
  • He was extremely nervous on the man’s first day as a pilot. He looked down and whispered about not knowing what all the buttons were meant to do. His copilot told him to relax, the buttons were to keep his shirt closed.
  • I like to wear corduroy pants and a corduroy shirt. Then I wear my corduroy hat, and I’m only one article of clothing from being one whole Roy!
  • I got home one night, and my wife asked me to take off her clothes one article at a time. So I did what she had asked, and she stood there looking at me. Then she sighed and told me never to let her catch me wearing her things again.
  • I heard that Mark Zuckerberg only wears gray t-shirts because he doesn’t want to have to worry about things that are of little importance. But this is the guy that invented Facebook.
  • It only took four dates for my girlfriend to find out the truth. On the first date, she thought of one good shirt; on the second, she saw two good shirts. The third date was the first again, and on the fourth date, she asked…so you only have two good shirts?

Start Passing These Around!

Hopefully you had as much fun reading these shirt jokes and shirt puns as we did. There’s always a great opportunity to bring these up, so don’t hesitate to share these with your friends.

Also, we’re on the lookout for more t-shirt jokes and puns to add to this list. So if you know any, send them our way!