101 Rock Puns & Jokes That Are Actually Funny

There are a surprising amount of funny rock puns and rock jokes that people have come up with over the years. And knowing some of them can be quite handy if you’re trying to bring a little humor to any situation.

Because rocks are all around us!

This list of rock puns and jokes will give you plenty to choose from the next time you’re looking for something funny to share with your friends.

• Geologists adore music, but their playlists lack variety—they only include rock and roll.
• I’m as cool as coal!
• This rock book is an intriguing pebble-cation.
• Quartz be with you!
• Beach rocks cost little because they’re always on sale.
• What music sinks to the ocean bottom? Heavy rock.
• Did you hear about the intoxicated geologist? He finally reached rock bottom.
• Be tolerant of geologists—they all possess faults.
• My rock collection holds tremendous sentimental worth.
• Strength to the pebble!
• I might be rock-obsessed, but it’s my prerockative.
• Living a tough rock life.
• I’ll search for gems this weekend and might require your assistance.
• The geologist was convicted in a quartz of law.
• Tectonic plates couldn’t keep a relationship—too much friction between them.
• A geologist’s preferred fruit is pomegranate.
• I aim to impact the world—for humanity’s greater good.
• It takes a bolder person to read this pun list.
• With geologists, it’s all or nothing.
• A geologist’s top restaurant is the Hard Rock Cafe.
• I’ve had a rough day; I’d rather not talk about it.
• Did you see the geologist pulling a crate of rocks with his car? He had a wide load sign.
• The new geology teacher faced challenges—he had a rocky beginning.
• Sherrock Holmes’ famous quote is: “Elementary, my dear Watstone.”
• I’ll never take you for granted.
• Always stay cool.
• I love you so much!
• That rock was magma before it was cool, get it?
• Looking for rock jokes? Let’s dig some up.
• A geologist’s favorite beverage is anything on the rocks.
• The miner disliked his job—it was dull.
• Not hungry—I lost my appetite.
• These puns were good, weren’t they? Of course!
• Why did the rock sleep all day? It was a bedrock.
• How did the rock feel about jail? Petrified.
• How did the rock feel covered in algae? He liked it.
• Want the best rock puns? I’ll unearth something.
• Why did the rock shower daily? To start fresh.
• What did the stone aspire to be? A rock star.
• What do you call a fake Irish gem? A shamrock.
• Why was the rock unprogressive? Stuck in the Stonehenge.
• Why was the rock reluctant to work? Stuck in a conundrum.
• What did the rock do rolling down the road? It rock ‘n’ rolled.
• How do geologists unwind? In rocking chairs.
• What do you call a criminal rock? Earth’s scum.
• A geologist’s favorite comedian? Chris Rock.
• A geologist’s favorite treat? Rock candy.
• Why did the rock take English lessons? To talk bolder.
• What did the rock order at the bar? Soda on the rocks.
• Heard about the drunk geologist? He hit rock bottom.
• Which rock group has four men who can’t sing? Mount Rushmore.
• Why did the rock couple split? They couldn’t commit.
• Why was the criminal rock acquitted? His alibi was solid.
• A geologist’s favorite music genre? Hard rock.
• Which magazine do rocks read? Rolling Stone.
• Why didn’t the stone reunite with the rock? Too many faults.
• What did Ariel say to the rock pool? Nice mussels.
• Why is moon rock tastier than earth rock? It’s a bit meatier.
• What’s a rock’s favorite fruit? Pomegranate.
• Why do hipsters like rocks? They’re underground.
• Where do you take injured rocks? To the Rocktor.
• Why did the judge find the rock guilty? Lawyers had concrete proof.
• Why did the rock hit the gym? He wanted to be bigger and bolder.
• How do stones reach outer space? By rock-et.
• What’s black, white, and hard as a rock? A panda in cement.
• What did the young rock say about failing tests? I don’t want to talk about it.
• Why did the rock couple break up? They took each other for granted.
• My rock collection has immense sentimental value.
• Eating a rock is healthy. It’s mineral-rich.
• I might be rock-obsessed, but it’s my prerogative.
• The new geology teacher faced difficulties. He had a rocky start.
• Talking about rock puns eroded a once-good friendship.
• I named my pet rock after a wrestler: Stone Cold Steve Austin.
• As a rock salesman, I’ve had great success. Sometimes I take it for granted.
• Chuck Norris hit a huge rock with his golf club. Now we call it the Moon.
• These rock puns are crystal clear and punny.
• Recently, our geology teacher lost a schist rock. He yelled about someone taking a schist in the lab.
• Beach rocks are inexpensive because they’re always on sale.
• This rock book is an interesting pebble-cation.
• I really dislike rock puns. My sentiments exactly.
• My friend started a rock and mineral digging company. He’s minding his own business.
• My wife considered selling Egyptian rocks. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.
• What do you call small rocks? Mini-rals.
• What do rocks use for hygiene? Geodorant.
• What do you call a complaining rock? A whinestone.
• When were rock puns funniest? During the stone age.
• Why was the sedimentary rock collection cheap? It was on sale.
• Why did the rock go to jail? The quartz found him guilty.
• What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone.
• What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure.
• Why isn’t it safe for a rock to marry paper? Paper beats rock.
• What should you do when you hear a rock joke? Take it with a grain of basalt.
• What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
• Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was too much friction between them.
• What do you do with dead geologists? Bury them.
• Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
• Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap? It was on sale.
• A geologist’s favorite band? The Rolling Stones.
• Did you hear about the geologist reading a helium book? He couldn’t put it down.
• When were rock puns funniest? During the stone age.
• What did the motivational speaker say? Don’t take life for granted.
• What do you call a fake Irish gem? A shamrock.
• What magazine does a rock like to read? Rolling Stone.

Did These Make You Roll With Laughter?

We hope you had a great time reading these funny rock puns and rock jokes. There were far more out there than we thought there would be, so it took us quite a while to put them together!

And as usual, if you know any other good ones we should add to the list don’t hesitate to send them over. We accept submissions from our readers quite regularly.