33 Road Jokes & Puns That Are Actually Funny (Updated)

Road jokes and road puns are great, because you can find a time to use them whenever you want! Roads are everywhere, so you won’t be a weirdo for bringing one of these up in conversation.

Give this list of road jokes and puns a read and let us know which ones you like the most! We think there will be a few that stick with you for a while.

• The dogs were running after the skeleton in the road. It threw them a bone.
• A man enters a bar carrying a chunk of asphalt and declaring, “one for me and one for the road.”
• Yesterday, I discovered a fork in the road outside the neighborhood deli shop.
• The fish crossed the road for what reason? Pelican Crossing.
• Crossroads are the main cause of road rage.
• I just witnessed a cop arrest a pregnant dog on the side of the road because it was littering.
• The toilet paper didn’t cross the road because it became entangled in a crack.
• I was shocked but all the signs pointed to my dad stealing from his road worker job.
• I saw a woman spill all of her Scrabble letters on the road and asked, “What’s the word on the street?” 
• Road construction is done when you put a fork in it.
• The hedgehog crossed the road for what reason? To visit his flatmate.
• The music band White Line is in the middle of the road.
• What do you call a road full of rubies and emeralds? The Jewel Carriageway.
• I think of the old saying, “You are what you eat,” whenever I come across a dead vulture in the road.
• What do you call a turkey crossing the road? A poultry in motion.
• How can you tell which of two potatoes is the prostitute when they are standing at the corner of the road? Look for the one labeled Idaho.
• Do you know what happens when you take a road out of the city? They will make you put it back.
• What happens when you spill jelly on the road? A traffic jam.
• My road’s traffic lights had failed.There was no change.
• The crab crossed the road for what reason? He desired to walk on a different sidewalk.
• Nothing makes a road trip more enjoyable for me than sleeping through it.However, they always remind you to keep your eyes on the road.
• Your own decisions have paved the road you’ve taken, which makes it your own asphalt.
• Why was the dinosaur the first to cross the road, you ask? Because there was no chicken.
• The chicken crossed the road to prove to the squirrel it could be done safely.
• While driving on the main road in the town, a bug splattered on our windshield.He probably won’t have the guts to repeat that.
• One day, I asked my mom where the road went, and she told me nowhere.
• Amputees are the elite during road trips because they are always on their last leg.
• When I go on a road trip with my boyfriend it is very touch and go. We had to stop every hour for an embrace because of his severe anxiety.
• Overheard someone at the market say, “We’re done, let’s get on and hit the road,” so I intervened and advised them not to do so because it would hurt.
• I was chatting with my brother. My brother wanted  to surprise his girlfriend with a road trip up north.  I said “where, Alaska?” He yelled at me not to because it was a surprise.
• I went on a road trip with my son and husband. When we started down the highway, the sun shined right directly in my face, so I pulled the shade down. I said to my husband that the sun was so bright, even with it being so far away. My husband said to me, ” He isn’t far away, he is sitting right behind you.”
• We drove through Iowa on a road trip. We decided to stop by a farm on the side of the road. It was harvest time. I asked to speak to the farmer about purchasing some fresh, yellow corn. The farmer seemed really busy and had no time. He told me, ” My apologies, I am up to my ears during the harvest.”

Where Did These Lead You?

Hopefully this list of road jokes and road puns was fun for you to read through. There are so many that we’ve been repeating to each other for the last few days, and we bet you’ll do the same.

Let us know if you’re sitting on any other good jokes or puns about roads. We want them!