57 Funny Oyster Puns & Jokes That You Need To See

Oyster puns and oyster jokes are always a favorite and consistently get laughs no matter where you are. There’s something about oysters that is just silly!

Take a look through this list of funny oyster puns and jokes and pick the ones you like. We promise you won’t have trouble finding an opportunity to use them.

• What did the oyster send to the lobster?
  A Shellfie.
• Despite being in the restaurant industry for decades, the job I was offered was preparing oysters.
  That really shucks.
• What did the oyster do after breakdancing on the dance floor?
  He pulled a mussel.
• What did the oyster do after witnessing a mafia killing?
  He clammed up.
• I went to the local Shell station yesterday.
  I was really surprised when they rejected my Oyster card.
• What do you call an oyster with an evil plan?
  A ployster.
• Why don’t Oysters donate to charity?
  Because they are shellfish.
• What do mollusks do after losing their luggage?
  They go to the clams department.
• The oyster loved his wife dearly.
  She was his sea-gnificant other.
• What game do oysters love to play most?
  Hide and sea-k.
• I was really saddened by his departure.
  Goodb-oys are always hard for me.
• There is no need to always b-oysting about your accomplishments.
• The pope provided food to the homeless in the country.
  He showcased a shell-fless act.
• As the Bible always says,
  Seek, and you shell find.
• When choosing friends, shellfish tend to be really shell-ow.
• What is a funny oyster called?
  A clamedian.
• I was searching for my pet oyster the other day and couldn’t find him.
  I guess he must’ve been using clamouflage.
• Who was protecting the bank?
  The shuck-urity guards.
• What do you call an imposter pretending to be something else?
  An imp-oyster.
• Nowadays, oysters seem to have progressed with their method of communication.
  They are using shell phones now.
• Where do oysters go when they want to borrow money?
  To the prawn broker.
• I used to have a really shy oyster, but one day she came out of her shell.
• What did the captain tell the crew on deck?
  H-oyst the sails.
• I was invited to a party by my friend.
  The h-oyst was very friendly.
• What did the oysters do during the birthday party?
  They shellabrated.
• What did the oyster wear as he was deployed to war?
  A shell-met.
• How did the oyster answer her cell phone?
  Shello?
• Why don’t oysters love to be cooked?
  It affects their shellfish steam.
• The oyster became paralyzed after the traumatic event.
  He was shell shocked.
• What do oysters do when they run out of gas?
  They go to a Shell station.
• I told my friend to accompany me to the mall.
  She said she’s got oyster matters to take care of.
• The examiner did not remove his gaze from us during the whole exam.
  He had his oys on us.
• The shellfish dropped deep into the ocean.
  She was pretty m-oyst.
• Obi-Wan was really disappointed when Anakin turned to the dark side.
  He believed he was the spe-shell one.
• There is nothing more shell-arious than snail puns.
• The oyster was never going to reveal his sea-cret.
• What’s the hardest thing for an oyster friend?
  Trying to get them out of their shell.
• What was the oyster’s preferred band?
  Pearl Jam.
• He blocked the path for students, making them late for class.
  Sea-niors are always the worst.
• The teacher was really concerned about the student’s grades.
  She told him he had to stop living in a fanta-sea.
• The snowstorm had left us stranded in the middle of nowhere.
  We had to m-oyster our strength to survive.
• Comic book movies are all about oyster eggs these days.
• The retailer decided to put all her promotions on a p-oyster.
• She always believed she was going to be shuk-essful.
• Some leaders never add value to the country.
  All they do is sleep and argue pearl-iament.
• There were some oysters that were tucked away.
  They were shuck-luded.
• What happened to the oyster after he stole the pearls?
  He was pro-shuck-uted.
• They had all the goods cl-oyster-ed together.
• Why was the oyster flying?
  Someone had shucked it.
• Since I was admitted to the hospital, I’ve become prone to sea-zures.
• The police conducted a huge operation last week.
  They sea-zed a lot of drugs.
• What do you use for dry skin?
  A m-oyster-izer.
• Every gift he bought for his kids he got from the t-oyster.
• He failed to carry some crucial documents with him and couldn’t reg-oyster for the event.
• The performance of the team was lackl-oyster
• She admin-oysters the oyster farm
• Installing an electronic payment system was the c-oyster-effective option.

Shell These Out To Your Friends And Family

We hope you had as much fun browsing this list of funny oyster puns and oyster jokes as we did making it! There are a few on here that really stick in your memory.

As always, if you know any other great puns or jokes about oysters that we should add, send them our way.