21 Glass Jokes & Puns That Will Make You Crack Up

Glass jokes and glass puns are pretty straightforward, but still quite funny! It’s also easy to find an opportunity to tell them to one another, because glass (or glasses) are everywhere.

Take a moment and look through these puns and jokes about glass. We think you’ll appreciate the humor!

• Breaking glass isn’t as easy as it looks. It’s actually quite a pane.
• Why are glasses not allowed to be worn on the football field? Because football is a contact sport.
• Why do bartenders always salt the rim on the glasses when making margaritas? To prevent the spirits from getting out.
• What do you call a glass to-do list? Clear instructions.
• I had the chance to make a significant investment with a new company that was making frosted glass products, but decided against it as there was no clear future in their product line.
• There are three ways to see things in life. You can either look at the glass as half empty like a pessimist, half full like an optimist, or you can be an engineer and realize that the glass is bigger than required.
• Did you know there is a logical reason behind the common use of glasses by Java engineers? Turns out they don’t C#.
• If you or anyone you know had to wear a mask with your glasses, you may be entitled to some condensation.
• Why are people who wear glasses usually so much better at solving math problems? Because glasses help with division.
• I was saddened to hear that our beloved glassblowing artist in town had suddenly ended up in the hospital and would be unable to attend the art festival this year. When I inquired what was wrong with him, the Doc told me that he had a pane in his stomach from all the glass dust he had been inhaling at the shop.
• My Grandma is in her eighties and has never needed glasses. Curious as to how she kept her vision so strong, I decided to ask her about it. Without hesitation, she responded with ‘I drink straight from the bottle honey, that’s my secret.’
• Do you know who the most famous outlaws are in the Kingdom of Sand and Glass? The Pyrex of the Caribbean!
• My wife picked me up from an interview with a new company today, and when I got in the car she asked me why I was wearing glasses. I smiled and told her that getting a good job was all about the optics.
• I got tired of seeing all the dog crap in the neighbor’s yard, so I ordered a pair of anti-poop glasses. Now I can’t see a thing.
• I ended up sitting right on my glasses when I got in the car today. It hurts a little, but at least my hind-site is 20-20 now.
• Someone stole glasses at work today. I’m not worried about finding the culprit though, I have good contacts.
• There’s a new business in town that is trying to sell cars and glasses in the same place. It’s called Eye-Kia!
• My friend used to work at a bar, but got fired because of his bad attitude. I guess the owner didn’t like seeing the glasses half empty all the time.
• The city decided to build a new pool for the community this year, and they started a donation drive to help get it completed. I thought it would feel good to help out, so I filled the tanker truck with water and drove it to the new pool. They were rather upset with me and banned me from the pool.
• I went to an interview today and there was a pitcher of water with some glasses on the table in the interview room.
  Thirsty, I decided to pour some water into a glass and ended up overfilling it. Before I could clean up the excess water, the interviewer entered the room.
  Seeing the water on the table they asked if I was nervous, to which I responded ‘not at all, I just believe in giving everything I do 110%!’
• Three scientists were hired to do an experiment on a water sample from a local stream to get a wider selection of opinions.
  The first report came from the Biologist. They concluded that the mineral count was too low.
  The second report came from the Chemist. They concluded that the solution needed to be filtered.
  The third report came from the Mathematician. They concluded that the coffee was very weak.

Give Them A Share!

Now that you’ve seen all of the best glass jokes and glass puns, we urge you to share them with your friends and family! Finding the humor in everyday life is a skill that not many people have, but you can be one of the few.

Also, send us any glass jokes or puns that you know. We look over reader submissions all the time and will happily add any that we like.