69 Fruit Puns & Jokes That Are Just Peachy!

Various fruits on a table where people are talking about fruit puns and jokes

Knowing some good fruit puns or fruit jokes can make a big difference during your next meal.

Here’s an example:

You get dragged to a brunch with a lot of people you don’t know. You’re bored out of your mind and no one seems to have any intention of saying anything interesting.

Your future looks bleak.

But then, you remember a good fruit pun and you sit patiently waiting for your time to strike. And when someone passes you a plate you say “I ap-peach-iate it.”


So memorize some of these. You never know when they’ll come in handy!

1. I really like you but sorry I have no fancy words to impress you. Pick up limes are not my strong point.

2. I would be honored if you would be my Valen-lime!

3. I am not going to tell you again. Citra ass down now!

4. Oh my gosh my husband got me a vacuum for my birthday that man doesn’t guava clue what I like.

5. Never forget how truly amazing you are ! You are totally the apple of my eye!

6. I wish I had the zest for life that you have.

7. Babe lets go your cherry-ot awaits to take you to the spa!

8. Don’t be jealous lime all yours!

9. Girl you are one fine looking apple!

10. Do you know what a sleepy fruit is called? A nap-ricot!

11. You got the report I forgot? Thanks a melon I owe you!

12. You are stuck with me forever! I am totally bananas for you! We are never splitting.

13. Stop being so afraid to talk to her, grow a pear and go ask her out!

14. Don’t fret about your application just take a deep breathe and let it mango!

15. Do not be afraid our love will kiwi us through.

16. Thanks so much for the ride to work I greatly ap-peach-iate it!

17. Wow have you been working out? Because I find your body so ap-peel-ing!

18. Really you are going to blame me how plum-believable!

19. Even though I have made some new friends you will always be my main squeeze.

20. I guava bone to pick with my husband after work!

21. You cleaned the whole house without being told? Your work ethic is so fig-gin amazing!

22. Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks you are absolutely pear-fect just the way you are!

23. I am so glad we have this class together so we could meet each other. I am so glad we are friends orange you?

24. Wow you got me coffee this morning? You are so sweet, thank you so berry much!

25. Where have you been all my life? We totally make a great pear!

26. Wow we have not seen each other since high school! Orange you glad to finally see me again?

27. If you want me to eat healthy then you need to practice what you peach.

28. I know the pandemic has been very hard but you have to cherry on!

29. You are the only one who will ever have the kiwi to my heart!

30. Oh snap citrus just got real!

31. Thank you for helping me move today. You are such a peach. 

32. Wow I love your artwork. It is for sure an orange-inal!

33. Thank you for the gift care. I apple-solutely appreciate it in this time of need!

34. Wow you like sports so do I! Do you think we kiwi friends?

35. I can’t wait for you to come home. I miss you so berry much!

36. If I haven’t said it recently never forget that I will always cherry-ish you!

37. Hey can you please hold my purse until lime ready?

38. Just relax and we will have a great time. I have already oranged everything for our trip!

39. Boy I just have to tell you olive you forever and always.

40. I know you think you know everything but you really need to respect your elder-berries!

41. You are so funny your jokes are kiwi-ing me!

42. Hope I am not being too forward but wow what a great pair of melons you have

43. You got me breakfast in bed? How sweet thanks a bunch for your thoughtfulness!

44. If the sink is not working then you are going to have to call the plum-ber

45. This is vacation we are going to eat, drink and be cherry!

46. Wow great run today you are hard core when it comes to speed.

47. You only live once squeeze the day.

48. Don’t worry the test is no fig deal.

49. No matter what happens never forget that you have a peach of my heart forever!

50. Never forget how special you are, you are truly one in a melon!

51. Ok my parents are ok with us getting married but she said we absolutely cantaloupe!

52. Don’t forget you are a queen and just like a pineapple always remember to wear your crown with pride.

53. Dang girl I love it when you call me big papaya!

54. I truly appreciate all your hard work. It is very personally important to me that I don’t take you for pomegranate ever.

55. Thank you for the flowers. You are so cherry sweet.

56. Oh no I think I have COVID I am not peeling well at all.

57. I am so glad we found each other honeydew you know how happy and complete you make me feel?

58. There will never be anyone else for me lime all yours forever.

59. The broken window is not all your fault it does take two to mango!

60. Baby how did I get so lucky? You are totally juice the cutest girl ever!

61. Great job on your math test you did absolutely grape!

62. Girl I just have to tell you that if you were a piece of fruit you would totally be a fine-apple!

63. If you really love him then fight for him and don’t ever let that mango!

64. Never forget that I am always going to be grateful for our one of a kind friend ship!

65. Yes I am sure it happened right in front of me I saw it with my berry own eyes!

66. Happy Anniversary baby I love you so cherry much for today and forever.

67. It doesn’t matter who was right that is neither here nor pear.

68. I know it is hard to wait until you are married but please don’t give into pear pressure.

69. You’re juiced the best!

Time To Squeeze These Into Your Life

Now that you know the potential these fruit puns and fruit jokes have to bring happiness into your life, it’s your job to start mentioning them in whatever food-related conversations you have!

As always, if you have any good ones you’d like to share with us just send them over.