45 Funny Concrete Puns & Jokes That’ll Make You Cackle

When we were putting together this list of concrete puns and concrete jokes, we were surprised by just how funny they were! This wasn’t a topic that we were expecting to laugh repeatedly from, but we were wrong.

We hope you have a great time with the following concrete puns and jokes. They will probably surprise you as much as they did us!

• The local concrete plant was flooded the other day.
  The staff had a hard time moving inventory.
• My friend didn’t believe that I could make cement.
  He asked for concrete evidence.
• We saw a nun wearing a concrete dress.
  That’s a hard habit to break.
• She studied concrete for a while.
  It was really hard for her.
• How did the concrete race begin?
  “Ready… Set…”
• He has never understood the difference between paving slabs and concrete.
  It’s a gray area for him.
• The duck was staring at the concrete we were mixing.
  We ended up with quacks in the building.
• A guy walks into a bar with some concrete placed under his arm.
  He says, “One for me, and one for the road.” 
• To try and be innovative, my friend made an egg out of concrete.
  That will take some beating.
• Why was Picasso fired from the cement factory?
  They said his ideas weren’t concrete enough.
• A prison bus and a cement mixer collided on the highway.
  The police are searching for hardened criminals.
• How do you get out of a cement room when stuck with only a chainsaw and a table?
  Use the chainsaw to cut the table in half. Two halves make a hole.
• I asked my friend what roads are made of. She told me, “Cement.”
  I don’t think she gave me a concrete answer.
• How did cement support the building?
  The hard way.
• He loved materials used with cement to create reinforced concrete.
  They were simply aggregreat.
• What was the gorilla in the cement mixer called?
  King Koncrete.
• My friend pushed George Bush into a vat of concrete.
  It set a very bad president.
• There was a couple that confused window cement with KY-Jelly.
  Their windows fell out.
• It irks me when people misuse the words gravel, asphalt, and concrete.
  It’s all about cementics.
• The fish swam into the concrete wall.
  Dam.
• How can you drop an egg onto a concrete floor without breaking it?
  Whichever way you like. Concrete floors are hard to crack.
• Me: Did you read about the girl who injected concrete into her buttocks?
  Dad: Sounds like she hit rock bottom.
  Me: Yeah. She’s gonna have a hard-ass, too.
• My friend fell face-first into the fresh concrete yesterday.
  He wasn’t worried, though – his dad always said he’d make a good impression.
• Three slabs of concrete walk into the bar.
  They sit down, order some beers, and begin boasting about their strength. Suddenly, a small bit of green tarmac walks in, and the slabs hide under the table.
  
  The green tarmac orders its drinks and leaves, and the slabs immediately get up. The bartender is astonished and asks them,
  
  “What happened there? I thought you were all tough.”
  
  One replies, “We might be tough, but he’s a cycle path.”
• What did one colleague say to the other at the concrete factory?
  “Aw, man. This job just keeps getting harder and harder.” 
• How do you reinforce concrete?
  Rebar.
• Wet concrete.
  It’s like flypaper for bad drivers.
• He requested to be buried in wet concrete when he died.
  He wanted the plot to thicken over time.
• She was in a relationship with a cement worker.
  However, nothing was really concrete.
• Their countertops are made of cement.
  He always took it for granite.
• The lawyer presented concrete evidence to the court.
  It cemented her case and did the husband a solid.
• Where was the concrete buried?
  At the cement-ery
• Girlfriend: Do you know the human bone is tougher than concrete?
  Me: Yes, I believe you. Now, can you please put the drill down?
• What was the gun made completely from concrete called?
  An asphalt rifle
• His mind is like concrete.
  Thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.
• The engineer designed a new way to prevent cracks from forming in concrete. He used a giant octopus.
  He says, “All you have to do, is release the ‘crackin'”
• She quickly and effortlessly discovered a new way to cut concrete and rocks.
  It was a groundbreaking discovery.
• What did the steel tell the concrete?
  Don’t take too much tension
• Why was the concrete bad at its job?
  The shear stress was too much.
• A man was driving to work when he got into an accident that knocked him out cold. Some pedestrians pulled him out from the wreckage and performed CPR to revive him.
  
  After regaining consciousness, he started struggling so hard that the medics had to tranquilize him. Later at the hospital, when he calmed down, one medic asked him why he struggled so much.
  He replied, a bit shamefaced, “I remember a loud bang and then everything went completely black. Suddenly, I woke up on this concrete slab and all I could see was this big, flashing sign. Turns out it was the ‘Shell’ sign and someone was standing in front of the ‘S'”

Did These Set In?

Now that you’ve read through all of these funny concrete puns and concrete jokes, it’s time for you to commit some to memory. That way you’ll be ready to strike whenever the opportunity comes up in the future!

If you happen to know any other good ones that we should consider adding, send them our way. We have a policy to always review reader submissions, so you might end up seeing your recommendation added to the site at some point!