31 Pencil Jokes & Puns You’ll Want To Scribble Down

A pencil that you can write pencil puns and jokes with

Funny pencil puns and pencil jokes are perfect, because they can be used any time. Pencils are everywhere. If you’re a student or work in an office, there’s probably a pencil within your grasp at this very moment!

This list of pencil puns and jokes will not only make you laugh, but will give you plenty of humorous content to reference the next time you’re near one of these writing utensils.

  • Are pencils still considered stationary if they can roll?
  • What is a pencil with two erasers called? Pointless.
  • The other night, someone tried to sell me a pencil with erasers on both ends.I didn’t understand the point.
  • Sharpening pencils in the dark is pointless. 
  • What happened to the finance guy with constipation? He had to figure it out with a pencil because he could not budget.
  • During my exam, my pencil broke. I wanted to continue with the exam, but it was pointless.
  • My pencil broke as I tried to draw a rectangle, making it a wrecked angle.
  • When you sharpen a pencil, what do you get? A great point.
  • I just wanted to make a little quip about a pencil. Whatever, there’s no point.
  • A police officer approached me with a pencil and paper and wanted me to trace someone for him. 
  • What are broken pencils? Pointless if you ask me. 
  • My house is a little sketchy looking with all of these pencil drawings lying around. 
  • What was the first thing a blind girl lost? Her cat, her necklace, and her pencil. Her vision.
  • What did the pencil point say to the eraser? Destroy. 
  • What did the pencil say to the doctor? “I can’t go number 2!”
  • Did you know that pencils shave to look sharp?
  • Why did the pencil use the restroom? #2.
  • What state do pencils like to visit? Of course it is pencil-vania.
  • Scissors get a little snippy whenever the pencil makes an excellent point.
  • Why do mathematicians rarely experience constipation? They can always use a pencil to figure it out if things get difficult.
  • What did the gun say to the pencil in a match? Draw!
  • The pen only lived up to half of its name, which is the primary distinction between it and the pencil.
  • People who draw with pencils are hard for me to trust.They are shady.
  •  An assortment of pencils believed to have belonged to Shakespeare has been discovered.They are so completely chewed up on the ends that we can’t tell if they are 2B or not 2B.
  • What happened to the pencil that was hurt in prison? Mid-sentence, it broke. 
  • The depressed guy said ” there’s no point,” when he snapped his pencil.
  • What is the connection between John Wick and mathematicians? They are able to solve any issue with a pencil.
  • What did the sharper say to the pencil? Why don’t you come close? I need to make a point.”
  • What did the pencil say to the other pencil? “Hey, you look sharp.”
  • The comedian asked the audience, ” have you heard the pencil joke yet?” The crowd responded, “No.” The comedian said, ” that’s good, there is no point.”
  • Today, I stopped at the store for about ten or so minutes. When I went outside to the parking lot, there was an officer issuing citations. I said to the officer,” Hey man, can you cut some slack here?” He totally ignored me and kept on writing up the citation. Since he was ignoring me, I referred to him as a pencil-necked cop and I got the death stare. In return, he wrote another ticket for the air freshener hanging on the mirror. So, of course, I had to keep going, right? I asked him if his therapist could look at him in the face because he is so repulsive. He then started to draw up the third citation, and then the fourth, and then the fifth. It seemed as if the more I kept nagging him, the worse it got. To be honest with you, I wasn’t worried. My truck was parked down the street.

Did Any Of These Bring A Smile To Your Face?

We hope you had a great time reading all of these pencil puns and pencil jokes. It was a blast to put this list together, and we plan on revisiting it again in the future!

If you know any other great pencil jokes or puns that deserve a spot on the list, send them over. We’ll add any that we like!