29 Funny Milk Puns & Jokes That Will Never Go Bad

We absolutely love milk puns and milk jokes. Even though they’ve been around forever, there’s something about them that’s always hilarious!

That’s why we had such a good time putting this list together. Give it a read and let us know which ones you like the most.

• Do they make cloned cow’s milk? I could have sworn I tasted the same milk yesterday. 
• Naturally, some puns are superior to udders.
• Did you find out what happened to the sanctuary farm that had an outbreak of mad cow disease?It led to an udder disaster. 
• What do you call a bee that makes milk? A boo-bee. 
• A cow that doesn’t produce milk is known as a milk dud. 
• Swiss cheese will never be part of a fat-free diet because it is simply made with hole milk. 
• I was advised to try a milk bath by the doctor.I inquired whether it should be pasteurized.She replied, “Just above the knees.”
• Do you know what happened when I replaced the milk with lemon juice? My family was very sour about it. 
• My father is the cow-ordinator at the dairy farm. 
• What does the angry cow produce? Sour milk. 
• What’s the best way to shake milk? Place a cow on a po-go stick. 
• Last night, I tried to milk my cow, but nothing seemed to work.It was an udder malfunction.
• Some people like milk that has been churned.It seems like butter to them that way.
• I have a gut feeling I drank expired milk. 
• Did you know that milk is considered a highly spiritual beverage?The majority of them are pastored.
• Did you know that Mos-cow is the place where Russians buy their milk from? 
• When in space, the Milky Way is what supplies astronauts with milk. 
• You can tell when milk has gone bad because the smell is darer awful. 
• Did you know that yogurt is a cow-ard because it is afraid of dairy products? 
• The milk and dairy factory down the street received its new name of Legend-Dairy. 
• Because of his erratic behavior, my friend lost his cow milking job. He posed a threat to both udders and himself.
• My father started drinking milk directly from the jug when he got home from the eye doctor. When I asked why he was doing this, he replied, “The doctor said there was no need for glasses.”
• A person who is open-minded but has not yet eaten breakfast should never be given milk.They are what you call lack-toast and tolerant.
• Do you know what the hardest thing about going vegan is? Milking almonds. 
• My pet cow is convinced that she makes almond milk. I think she is going nuts. 
• The maid milked her broken leg. How did she break it you ask? Falling into the cow’s pen. 
• The Spanish man asked his son what he was drinking because he didn’t recognize the jug. His son replied, “Soy Milk.” The Spanish man was excited that his son was finally speaking Spanish! He then turned to his son and said, “Mucho gusto Milk. Yo soy tu padre.”
• Three men, an Englishman, a Scottishman, and an Irishman with their wives headed into the nearest pub. They decided a good cup of tea would be great to start with as they sat at their table.
  The Englishman asks his wife, “Honey, do you mind handing me the honey?” After reflecting on how clever that was, the Scottish man turns to his wife and asks, “Sug, can you pass me over the sugar?”
  Now, it was certain the Irishman wanted to be the most clever out of the three. So, he leans over and asks his wife, “Hand me the milk, cow.”
• Amanda was going over her shopping list and noticed they needed milk and avocados. She asked her husband Eric, “Hey, when you get to the store, can you please pick up a jug of milk and if they have avocados, please pick up four. “Eric goes to the store, and returns home about 30 minutes later. He placed the bags on the counter, and Amanda was extremely confused. She noticed he had bought four jugs of milk. So Amanda asked Eric, “Why are there four jugs of milk?” Eric said, “well you told me to buy four if they had avocados.”

Don’t Be Sour, Share These!

We hope you had as much fun reading these milk puns and milk jokes as we did gathering them. Some have completely gotten stuck in our heads!

If you have any others you think we should share (or just want to say hi), let us know. You can reach out to us through the website or on social media.