33 Funny Lime Puns & Jokes That’ll Take You By Surprise

Although it might seem like a random topic, funny lime puns and lime jokes are surprisingly worthwhile. Who would have guessed that limes could be such a hilarious topic?

This list of lime puns and jokes will help you look at these tasty citrus fruits in a whole new light.

• Why was the lemon so green? Because it came down with lime disease.
• What did the king call the lime that was made his personal entertainer? The court zester.
• Why was the lime not allowed to join the orchestra? Because it was not able to keep lime with the other musicians.
• What made the lime decide to go to the doctor? He didn’t peel very well.
• Why do limes always say no when they are asked if they would like to watch Pulp Fiction? Because it sounds like a horror movie.
• My friend was parched, so I threw her a soda, which I thought for sure she would catch. Unfortunately, Sierra Mist.
• What do you call a mixture of tomatoes, avocados and lime disease? Guacoma!
• What do you get when multiple limes collide? Citrus entanglement.
• Why do kids not like lime in their pastries? Because it is a bit too tart.
• What do you call a comedy duo consisting of a banana and a lime? Key and Peele!
• What drink do the band members have before every show? Gin and tonic, but hold the lime.
• A lemon was planning a bank heist but realized he needed a partner to pull it off. He had just the partner in mind, his buddy, the lime.
• What did the doctor pair with his patient’s covid shots? Lime wedges.
• What makes lemons so much safer for consumption than limes? I have no idea either, but I do know that they don’t have a disease named after them.
• What did the Arborist name his prized lime tree? Margatreeta!
• What did the pie thief use to open the lock on the safe? A key lime!
• Why should you never pick the lowest fruit on a lime tree? Because they are sublime.
• What separates a whole lime from a half lime? One is a full round, the other a half measure.
• My wife and I were in the supermarket getting groceries today when she asked me if the limes she was picking out looked ripe to me. I said they looked fine, to which she replied, “Good, because you know that there is a really fine lime between cooking healthily and catching scurvy!”
• What do you get when you let citrus fruits write your song lyrics? Lime-ricks.
• What do you call a transformer that is disguised as a fruit? Optimus Lime!
• There was a local rapper in the farmer’s market today that kept dropping rotten fruit he found in the bins on the ground. I leaned over to my wife and whispered in her ear “This local rapper sure drops some sick limes.”
• What do the citrus fruits call overtime work? Lime and a half!
• Why did the juice factory fire all of the lemons and limes? Because they just couldn’t concentrate enough.
• What makes limes so more observant than bananas? They contain large amounts of Vitamin See.
• What prevented the lemon and the lime from getting married? Fruit cantaloupe!
• What kind of citrus is used to make glass? Limestone!
• What type of cheese does the lime like to use on his sandwiches? Limeburger.
• Where do limes go to get their information these days? On-lime!
• What recreational activity can you see a lime taking part in regularly? In-lime skating.
• Why do bartenders not like a lot of light where they work? Because they prefer the lime-light.
• A customer came into the bakery last week and asked if we had any carrot cakes.
  I told them that we didn’t have any available and they proceeded to buy a key lime pie instead.
  The customer continued to do this for several days in a row, but today the baker decided to surprise the customer by making an extra carrot cake, which he kept in the back.
  I presented the cake to the customer and told them that we had set one aside for them today. The customer said “Oh, that’s too bad, I’ll have to shop elsewhere now as I’m allergic.”

Were These Concentrated Enough For You?

We hope that you had as much fun reading this list of funny lime puns and lime jokes as we did. As you could expect we quickly became a menace with these on margarita night.

If you know any others that we should think about adding to the mix, let us know. We’re always happy to take submissions from our readers!