Couch puns and couch jokes are always great, because we spend so much time on these pieces of furniture! It doesn’t matter what house you’re in, a couch is definitely going to be involved.
We had a lot of fun putting this list together, and have been sharing these with our friends constantly. If you like them, make sure to reach out and let us know!
- What do you call a couch in a suit? A tuxSEATo.
- I tried to build my own coach today, but I messed up some of the measurements and made it uneven. So near, yet sofa.
- What does your mom have in common with the couch? They’re both supportive.
- Someone took my couch the other day. Thankfully, it was recorded.
- My neighbor asked if I wanted to buy their couch. I said, “I’ll sleep on it.”
- I can finally see things that are far away when sitting on the couch. I have tele-vision.
- My couch was missing an arm and a leg. That doesn’t sit well with me.
- I camouflaged my couch so nobody could find it. Sofa, it’s working.
- Turn any couch into a bed…by forgetting your wedding anniversary.
- I’ve been moving couches all day. Sofa, so good.
- What would you call a couch, chair, and table if they were all made out of plants? Ferniture.
- What do couch potatoes turn into? Computer chips.
- What does the blind man call the couch? Painful, because they can’t c where it’s at.
- Why was the potato stuck on the couch? Because it was baked.
- The first thing I thought when my sofa was stolen was, “I’m not going to take this sitting down.”
- Why did the couch have a fear of chairs? The chairs were armed.
- I asked my son if he ate the ice cream in the freezer. He said, “no I ate it on the couch.”
- I was laying on the couch when my girlfriend asked, “ I thought you said you were interesting?” I said, “no, I’m into resting.”
- My friend ended up failing his sofa exam. He’s going to resit.
- One of my favorite childhood memories was falling asleep on the couch and waking up in bed thinking I have superpower.
- What’s the best way the drummer was able to sell his couch? Per cushion.
- My wife was feeling sad so I decided to redecorate the family room. I thought that it would chair her up but sofa she didn’t notice.
- I wanted to study the differences in couches around the world. It was very philo-sofa-ical.
- I’ve been trying to think of more funny jokes, but I’ve had no luck sofa.
- I brought home a new reclining sofa the other day. If I don’t like it, I can always take it back.
- Why are drummers terrible at selling couches? They charge per cushion.
- I can’t find 20% of my couch! Ouch!
- I couldn’t chair less about your problems!
- Where’s the farmer’s favorite place to sit? On the cowch.
- I’ve had my furniture for a long time. Me and my recliner go way back.
- A couch can endure a lot of things, but if you take the cushions out, it will make it very uncomfortable.
- I got a new couch recently and the salesman said it comes with three years free credit. That’s great news for my phone bill!
- I feel like my gardening skills have improved ever since the beginning of quarantine. I planted myself on the couch and haven’t moved ever since.
- What do you call a nut that dropped to the floor and rolled under the couch? AWOL nut.
- One time, I agreed to help Death move his couch. Once we moved it, I realized we had left the reaper cushions behind.
- What is the difference between a cat sleeping on a couch and a dumb cow? One is a cat loaf and the other is a cattle oaf.
- Have you heard about the man who’s addicted to eating couches? He has a suite tooth.
- What’s another name for a couch potato who likes to smoke every once in a while? Fries.
- My best friend asked if he could sleep on my couch tonight. I had to explain to him that since I’m married now, that’s where I sleep.
- I like to say I’m attracted to all couches. I guess you could say I’m pansectional.
What Do You Think?
We hope you had as much fun reading through these couch puns and couch jokes as we did. This list is probably one of our favorites, and definitely ranks highly for the topic we refer to the most often.
We’re accepting submissions for any other couch puns or jokes that you might know, so feel free to send them our way. If we like what you shared, we’ll add it!