29 Cello Jokes & Puns That Are Actually Funny

A cello that's the subject of jokes and puns

Finding some funny cello jokes and cello puns was easier than we thought. For such proper instruments, there’s actually a lot of humor around them!

Give this list a read and let us know which ones you like the most. We’ve been sharing them with our friends constantly.

  • Why did the daddy cello not allow the little cello to go to the orchestra shows? Because the shows always contain sax and violins.
  • How do orchestra members stay in touch between their shows? They use the bass line to say cello every once in a while.
  • Why can’t zombies be conductors in an orchestra? Because they only know how to decompose.
  • What do you call a cello player that falls in a puddle on the way to practice? A moistro!
  • If cows could play the cello, what would their favorite music note be? Beef flat!
  • How does a violin player keep their violin from being stolen? They store it in a cello case.
  • What do you call a part-time conductor of the orchestra that also plays the cello? A semiconductor!
  • What did the cellist say when he was removed from the building after he went rogue during the concert? “Harp all you want, I still drop the bass!”
  • Why was the professor so forgiving of the cellist’s report? Because they only made A minor mistake.
  • Why did the police arrest the whole orchestra after the show? Because they were all accused of being under the effects of contra-band drugs.
  • What do you call it when Moses walks between the members of the orchestra? Parting the reed sea!
  • I saw the craziest thing on the television the other night. There was a snake directing the orchestra for a televised special. He was a really good boa conductor!
  • Why do cellos never get invited to play hide & seek with the rest of the instruments? Because they are too large to hide!
  • Why is the pitch range of a cello so limited? Because cellos are really hard to kick more than a few feet.
  • Why are cellos such great comedians? Because they are really good at standup.
  • What did the cello player say when he was arrested at the orchestra hall? “I knew I shouldn’t have switched to using violins!”
  • What do you call a bunch of cellos on a cruise ship? Flotsam!
  • How does a musician become a millionaire? They win a couple million dollars and then buy a cello to join the orchestra with.
  • How do you gauge a successful cellist? By the fewest other jobs they have while playing the cello for the orchestra.
  • What do you call an optimistic cellist? A mortgage holder.
  • What is the most common trait of all the greatest cellists in history? The afterlife.
  • What do cellos and tuna sandwiches have in common? They both sound the same regardless of their tune.
  • What do marriage and learning to play cello have in common? Both look pretty easy until you try them yourself.
  • What does a cello have in common with an anchor? They can both stop a boat!
  • I was reading the newspaper over coffee this morning and saw the following article:
    Cellist found dead in a concert hall. Police suspect it was an orchestrated incident, but have yet to rule out random violins.
  • What did the conductor of the orchestra do when the entire cello group bowed out of the show due to illness? Nothing, nobody noticed they were missing.
  • What did the people call King Charles III behind his back when he was declared a great cello player? An artist, formerly known as Prince.
  • I was practicing my cello for the concert later this month when I heard the doorbell ring.
    When I answered the door, there was a man in a suit and fancy hat with a leather bag full of tools for what looked like instruments.
    Curious what he wanted, I asked how I could help him on this fine day.
    “I’ve come to tune your cello for you, good sir,” said the man.
    I hadn’t called anyone to look at my cello and said as much.
    “Oh, I know, but your neighbor did,” he replied with a smile.

String Your Friends Along With These

Now that you know some great cello jokes and cello puns, it’s your job to start sharing them with your friends and family. It’s so satisfying to bring up one of these when no one expects it!

If you know any other ones that we should consider adding to the list, send them over through our submission page. We’ll add the ones we like the most!