Dog Puns

A 3 legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces:

A dog breeder crossed a setter and a pointer at Christmas time and got a pointsetter.

A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

A dog not only has a fur coat but also pants

A dog with his leg wrapped hobbles into a saloon. He sidles up to the bar and announces: ”I’m lookin’ fer the man who shot my paw.”

A dog with his leg wrapped in bandages hobbles into a saloon. He sidles up to the bar and announces: ”I’m lookin’ fer the man who shot my paw.”

A dyslexic atheist with insomnia lays awake wondering if there really IS a Dog

A man brought his retriever to the vet for some tests and had to pay a lab fee.

A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He goes up to the bar and announces: ”I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.”

After having an accident on the car’s rug, the puppy was stripped of his car pet privileges.

Are dog biscuits made of collie flour?

Bird-dogs are great for music, because they’re both woofers and tweeters.

Did you hear about the two seeing eye dogs that went on a blind date?

Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener.

Do old female dogs go through menopaws?

Even the best bird dog is only good to a point.

He said his dog won first in class. I smiled only as a cur to see.

I agreed to watch my neighbor’s dog, but only if it didn’t scratch me. It’s in the clause.

I trained my dog to hunt for underground mushrooms but now he’s more truffle than he’s worth.

I watched a dog get killed by a cantaloupe someone threw out of a window, so needless to say, the whole situation was meloncollie.

I went to the zoo yesterday but they only had one dog. It was a shit tsu.

If a dog has puppies in a public place, can they be arrested for littering?

If a dog was computer literate, would his bark be worse than his byte?

It was raining cats and dogs. There were poodles all over the road.

It’s raining cats and dogs, I just stepped in a poodle. Well, at least it won’t reindeer.

It’s raining cats and dogs. Well, as long as it doesn’t reindeer.

My dog was mustard-colored. That made him a Gulden Retriever.

My pet is very agreeable. He’s a seeing-eye-to-eye dog.

My sled dog never barks. He is a male mute.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.

She got fired from the hot dog stand for putting her hair in a bun.

Since they started paying dog catchers by the pound, they’re feline the pinch.

Somebody was running a flea circus, but a dog came and stole the show.

The little green men told me it was the Dog Star. I told them they can’t be Sirius.

The medical term for owning too many dogs? A roverdose.

The race dogs got a bad case of the fleas – they had to be scratched.

The valuable dog was still missing, believed stolen, however the police announced they have a lead.

They tore strips off my dog before kicking him off that logging ship. He was disembarked.

What does Snoop Dog use to do his laundry?

What happened to the dog who swallowed the watch? He got ticks

What’s the difference between a well dressed man and a dog? The man wears a suit, the dog just pants.

When baking dog biscuits, be sure to use collie flour.

When the Dalmatian ran away, he was spotted two blocks from home.




 

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